You Are A Child Of God or What Does It Mean When God Doesn't Answer My Prayers

 

You are a child of God.

An old preacher named Fred Craddock used to tell a story about vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. One night they found a quiet little restaurant, where they looked forward to a private meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. [It wasn’t Colonel Sanders. That would be Kentucky] Craddock leaned over and whispered to his wife, “I hope he doesn’t come over here.” He didn’t want anyone intruding on their privacy. But sure enough, the man did come over to their table. “Where you folks from?” he asked in a friendly voice. “Oklahoma,” Craddock answered. “Splendid state, I hear, although I’ve never been there,” the stranger said. “What do you do for a living?” “I teach homiletics at the graduate seminary of Phillips University,” Craddock replied. “Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I’ve got a story to tell you.” And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with Craddock and his wife. Dr. Craddock said he groaned inwardly and thought to himself, “Oh, no! Here comes another preacher story! It seems like everybody has at least one.”

The man stuck out his hand. “I’m Ben Hooper,” he said. “I was born not far from here across the mountains. My mother wasn’t married when I was born, so I had a pretty hard time. When I started to school, my classmates had a name for me, and it wasn’t a very nice name. I used to go off by myself at recess and lunch time because the things they said to me cut me so deep. What was worse was going to town on Saturday afternoons and feeling like every eye was burning a hole through me, wondering just who my father was. “When I was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to our church. I would always go in late and slip out early. But one day the preacher said the benediction so fast I got caught and to walk out with the crowd. I could feel every eye in the church on me. Just about the time I got to the door I felt a big hand on my shoulder. I looked up and the preacher was looking right at me. ‘Who are you, son? Whose boy are you?’ he asked. I felt this big weight coming down on me. It was like a big black cloud. Even the preacher was putting me down. But as he looked down at me, studying my face, he began to smile a big smile of recognition. ‘Wait a minute!’ he said. ‘I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God.’ With that he slapped me across the rump and said, ‘Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’

The old man looked across the table at Fred Craddock and said, “Those were the most important words anybody ever said to me, and I’ve never forgotten them.” With that, he smiled shook hands with Craddock and his wife, and moved on to another table to greet old friends. And as he walked away, Craddock – a native Tennessean himself – remembered from his studies of Tennessee history that on two occasions the people of Tennessee had elected to the office of governor men who had been born out of wedlock. One of them was a man named Ben Hooper. (Source: http://www.calvaryfullerton.org/Bstudy/49%20Eph/2005/49Eph01e.htm)

You are a child of God. 

And once we realize that, we can live free. As Jesus taught here.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of Godabove all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Matthew 6:25-34 (NLT)

And then I want to pull in another passage.

At the foot of the mountain, a large crowd was waiting for them. A man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and suffers terribly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. So I brought him to your disciples, but they couldn’t heal him.”

Jesus said, “You faithless and corrupt people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Then Jesus rebuked the demon in the boy, and it left him. From that moment the boy was well.

Afterward the disciples asked Jesus privately, “Why couldn’t we cast out that demon?”

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

Matthew 17:15-20 (NLT)

But you know what he follows that story up with, a story that bad things are going to happen.

After they gathered again in Galilee, Jesus told them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of his enemies. He will be killed, but on the third day he will be raised from the dead.” And the disciples were filled with grief.

Matthew 17:21-23 (NLT)

Despite being a child of God, bad things happened. He’s warning them, but he also just gave them the teaching of having a mustard seed faith that is linked to God working in that teaching of Jesus.

Mustard seed faith. I want to propose one thing. That size of faith is just the request. Our faith isn’t magical. Just necessary. But it doesn’t have to be giant.

I can’t tell you why God doesn’t just always automatically heal. I think in the world where we have two competing sides in Christianity – one that seems to oppose healing and one that seems to have a God that just heals quickly and automatically – we struggle to make sense of the struggle. Neither camp provides a way of thinking to carry us through that time in between asking and receiving. That time of the valley. I can’t tell you why you sometimes suffer despite being a child of God.

But What if just praying is enough faith? What if that is the mustard seed? And then how do we deal with not receiving the healing? 

In the end, we have to just continue pushing in. Our faith isn’t dependent upon a healing. Maybe today is the day for the miracle you’ve bene seeking. And then that is where we feel like we have to stop because talking about how today may not be the day goes against the grain. It goes against the false name and claim it way of thinking. But I want to tell you today that learning to cope and grow with the struggle does not mean that you are lacking faith. You are a child of God whether you get the healing or not.

You don’t need Superman faith. You don’t need a rambunctious, flamboyant, exuberant faith. Just faith like a mustard seed. A faith that is willing to just come to God and ask him what you desire. Just a faith that is enough that leads you to God’s throne room in prayer.

Just enough faith to pray. Now is the time for simple prayers. Like a child can pray.

The things you care about but feel stupid praying about. God wants to hear about them. God wants to have a vibrant conversation with you about those things. And that won't happen if you think they are just too stupid to bring up.

Because in the end, God cares about you and the things you care for. As we grow closer to him and allow the restoration of our broken places to happen, the things we care for will shift closer to the things that he cares for. But until then, we are who we are right now. So feel free to pray what is on your heart. Don't be fake with God. He won't think you're stupid. He loves you. He can handle your request. He can handle your disappointment. He can handle reality. 

In the end, it’s God’s responsibility. If you have asked, you have exhibited the mustard seed faith. And if he doesn’t heal, discouragement often sets in.

I remember the night our twins died. We came home from the hospital, with the dead babies still inside Lindsay. And we anointed her with oil and prayed for healing. I wanted God to give me a miracle story to tell the world. And I had the faith that he could do it. Lindsay had more faith. The next morning, we arrived at the hospital and asked them to do another ultrasound because we were wanting to see the miracle that I would tell the whole world about. My dead twins would be alive….They humored us with another ultrasound, but they were still dead. And instead of a miracle story to tell the world, God gave me this story. And as we wept throughout the delivery and the day with them in our room, as we held our dead babies, we were left wondering why God didn’t give the miracle we desired. The miracle we had faith for.

We are God’s children. Why did this happen to us?

And in some circles, people would tell me that I didn’t have enough faith. In other circles, they would tell me that it was unrealistic to expect the miracle. And yet, I’m somewhere in the uncomfortable mystery without an easy answer. God could heal but didn’t. I had faith but God didn’t respond with healing. 

But then we come face to face with the story of Job. It’s Job ranting and raving and arguing with friends for page after page about a tragedy that happened to Job.

God answers all the bickering in the conversation between Job and his friends.

“Who is this that questions my wisdom

with such ignorant words?

Brace yourself like a man,

because I have some questions for you,

and you must answer them.

“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?

Tell me, if you know so much.

Who determined its dimensions

and stretched out the surveying line?

What supports its foundations,

and who laid its cornerstone

as the morning stars sang together

and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Who kept the sea inside its boundaries

as it burst from the womb,

and as I clothed it with clouds

and wrapped it in thick darkness?

For I locked it behind barred gates,

limiting its shores.

I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come.

Here your proud waves must stop!’

“Have you ever commanded the morning to appear

and caused the dawn to rise in the east?

Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth,

to bring an end to the night’s wickedness?

As the light approaches,

the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal;

it is robed in brilliant colors.

The light disturbs the wicked

and stops the arm that is raised in violence.

Job 38:2-15 (NLT)

It goes on and we won’t read it all here, but God concludes his first rebuke with this.

Then the LORD said to Job,

“Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?

You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”

Then Job replied to the LORD,

“I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers?

I will cover my mouth with my hand.

I have said too much already.

I have nothing more to say.”

Job 40:1-5 (NLT)

So we enter into this age old struggle. A struggle shown in the ancient book of Job. A struggle where we could cite so many stories in our days, whether friends dying way too young or other tragedies and disease. We have these promises from Jesus that God will take care of us. We know we are children of God, yet we find ourselves at times in unresolved valleys. We have faith. We have asked, yet it doesn’t seem that God has delivered. The healing, the deliverance, the blessing that we want – still not realized.

I want that realized for all of us. It starts with a faith like a mustard seed. A willingness to pray. To be honest with God about your feelings and ask. The simple prayer that you feel foolish praying. Ask it.

And then it continues by not giving up. I picture Job just saying, “Screw it, God. I’m out.” I’m the type that would do that three chapters in to his forty-two chapter story. And then the blessing, the true realization, would never come. Instead, Job wrestled with it. And the blessing eventually came.

But we need a belief system that can get us through those days where the healing doesn’t come. And in many instances, like the instance with my twins, there is no waiting for a deliverance or healing. The moment is gone.

But what do we do with all of this? Thankfully, Scripture gives us that too.

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:1-5 (NLT)

So drop the empty platitudes. Don’t tell someone who has prayed in faith that they don’t have enough faith for a healing. Don’t tell them to find the sin in their life as if Jesus’ blood doesn’t cover all our sins. Jesus has already brought victory. They have already exhibited the mustard seed faith in prayer. Don’t tell someone to just deny their illness as if lying to themselves is a way to manufacture faith. Laying claim to a miracle is not denial and lying. Lies never produce faith. Faith must stand up to the reality we find ourselves in and go to God to fix this broken place.

And then continue to push in toward God. You are his child after all.

Suffering does produce hope. We must allow ourselves to grow closer to God in all things. Grow in hope. Learn to “rejoice in hope of the glory of God” in all situations. Be the opposite of the world. Instead of despair, hope. And keep pushing on. That opportunity, God will deliver. That healing, God will bring. God doesn’t cause bad things, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t happen, although we can be assured that he will use them for good. In all things grow closer to your Father.

And live in the truth that God will provide and what he provides is sufficient. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Push into God. And he will give you the strength you need. You are a child of God. No matter what happens.

 

 

We Cannot Afford Not To Give

What are things that we cannot afford to not do? That are more costly if we don’t do them.

Eating. I read a study of an obese guy who went 382 days without eating and lost 275 pounds. By the end of his fast, he weighed 180 pounds. I don't recommend that approach for losing weight. Just saying you can live a while without eating. It depends on how much you have stored.

Drinking.  They say you can make it three to five days without water. But it won't be fun.

Sleep. The longest recorded period without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, and 40minutes. Although you will regularly find news stories of video game addicts dying after two to three days of continuous play and no sleep.

The ones that will kill us quickly are easy to point out. Ones that take longer to manifest are easier to ignore. Like eating right and exercising.They don't have immediate physical signs like a grumbling stomach, a parched mouth, or droopy eyelids. In them, death arrives slowly.

For houses, it’s keeping your roof and foundation in good shape. When those thing start going bad, it’s easy to notice. But mold growing behind a wall may not even be discovered.

Spiritual killers -- similar to the impact of mold, exercise, and eating right -- are often easier to ignore.We don't die immediately from them.

One way we can evaluate our spiritual life is how are we handling our time and our money. Are we giving them to God? You might feel like you can’t afford to give. I hope to convince you that you can’t afford to not give.

Jesus taught,

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

Where are we laying our treasures? It might seem overly harsh, but someone is not committed to Jesus until they start giving. Now we might like Jesus. We may even appreciate Him and want the salvation He came to offer. But we aren’t sold on the idea of wanting to bring about His dreams into our reality until we start giving. It’s a good, tangible measurement.

“Where your treasure is, there your heart is.” I want my treasure to be Jesus’ treasure. His ministry to our community will not happen unless the people that gather together in local churches financially support it.

We’re quick to support many things we don’t need. Movies, televisions, sporting events, pets, canoes, junk food, beer, exercise equipment, pizza – the list can go on and on. We are quick to give our money to a plethora of things. But when it comes to actually supporting the ministry of Jesus, we want to make reasons on why we can’t do that.

But I want to convince you that you cannot afford not to give.

I firmly believe that if you sacrifice to give to God financially, he will bless you. And in my experience that blessing has been financially. But it doesn’t necessarily always come in a financial blessing.

Lindsay and I spent years living off of $20,000. During that time we committed to giving, not on our income, but on the income we wanted to have. And God has continued to bless us. Lindsay and I never went without food. We have always had a place to stay. We have always had a vehicle. We have always had luxuries beyond those bare necessities.

One thing that we have to be careful of when discussing giving is that we do not teeter too close to the idea that God always blesses us financially when we give to Him. I do believe God typically blesses his people financially. And my personal experience has been financial blessing in relation to my financial giving to the church. But I want to clarify the distinction between what I am teaching and the false teaching that you will be blessed financially if you give of your finances.

We give to God and His work, not because we expect to be blessed. That should not be our motivation. It’s like telling our wives that we think their beautiful and that we love them for ulterior motives – if you know what I mean. If our wives, who can’t see our heart – although sometimes I think they can - can see through this trick. God, who can see our heart, can definitely see through a manipulative approach to giving.

God does typically bless those financially who give to his work financially. Now, this could just be a coincidence in that the people who are willing to surrender 10, 15, 20, or 25% of their income to their church are already surrendering the other areas of their lives to His will as well, and in living out His will we already live lives that attract His blessing. But I find that for many people, money is one of the more difficult things to surrender to God.

We are blessed by God in so many different ways. We wake up and breathe. We received salvation that we do not deserve. We are giving hope in hopeless situations. But the biggest blessing that God offers for us to receive is to become part of his redeeming work to this world. The work of His local church and its ministry in their respective communities happens because of our combined generosity.

So we give because it is good for us to give. And we give because we want to give. And we give because this is one of the ways that God has chosen to work through us.

Secret Love and Dwindling Lights

But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:3-4)

I was in a conversation on Saturday night with a friend in which this passage was brought up as a reason that the church shouldn't be involved in corporate loving, i.e. loving people through the church with church funds. In their view, loving others should be done on an individual basis and in a completely private way. We were working through our thoughts, so I don't really know if that is the conclusion that he is going to end up at. However, I do think it is the conclusion that many Christians have ended up at.

This teaching of giving your alms in secret comes from Jesus in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, right after the section on loving your enemies and right before two other similar sections about praying and fasting in secret.

Right at the beginning of this same sermon, Jesus taught a principle that rubs differently:

You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven (Matt 5:14-16).

Despite popular thinking in the other direction, Jesus taught that we are to do our good works so that others may see them. There isn't any secret meaning to that teaching, no hidden message. It flat out says that our good works are supposed to be seen by others. So if you have been using "do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing" to not do loving actions, I think you are sadly mistaken.

So what was Jesus saying? How do we do our good works so that others may see them if we are supposed to keep our good works secret? It seems very consistent with the Old Testament prophets. Religious acts like prayer, fasting, and tithing are not to be done for show because God is not glorified by other people seeing someone doing religion acts. It brings no attention to God, just attention to the doer. So if you are a great tither, or a powerful person of prayer, or an incredible and dilligent faster - keep it up but keep that to yourself. It doesn't bring God any glory for you to share your spiritual prowess.

However, good works, by their very nature, involve other people. They can't be done without another person. But here is the key. The passage ends with the reason of why we do good works: "So that they may see your good works and give glory to God." We live a life of love so that God may be glorified. If we do loving actions so that the attention is drawn to us, then I would say the principle that was expressed in the alms section applies to us. The principle to not do the things of God for the attention of others would be broken. However, loving actions always involves others so we need to make sure that our hearts are in the right place. Getting hung up on doing loving actions in secret is often an excuse to not love and a hindrance to us loving effectively. Instead of being a place of rescue for the emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally wounded, we just become a church of pious, religious people.

There is no verse that teaches us to love people in secret so that our light doesn't shine. We need to love others so that people will see those acts of love and - this is the main point - give glory to our Father in heaven.

Legalism brings about Division, Love Knits Us Together in Unity

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory (Colossians 3:1-4 ESV).

This part of the letter from Paul to the church at Colossae came immediately after Paul dealt with two attacks on the church there.  The first attack was one on the nature of who Jesus was.  The second attack was legalism in the form of philosophies, Judaism, angel worship, and asceticism.  Paul's remedy to legalism and losing focusing on Jesus was to seek Christ in the things that are above rather than the things of this world.  This echoes Jesus' teaching during the Sermon on the Mount: 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matt 6:33 ESV).

When I was a kid and would play hide and go seek, I always liked to hide with someone.  Although less effective, it made the game all that much more enjoyable.  Earlier (in Colossians 2:3), Paul wrote that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Jesus.  Paul (in Colossians 3:3) is saying that we are hidden with Christ in God.  Unlike when I played hide and seek, hiding with Jesus is still enjoyable yet more effective for our life.  For us who are in Christ, the secrets that are hidden and do not make sense to the world are revealed.  If we live in that same mystery, our lives shouldn't make sense to the world around us.

We're supposed to set our mind on the things that are above, we're supposed to seek His kingdom and His righteousness, and we're assured by Jesus that if we seek we will find (Luke 11:9-10).  What if what is above is actually all around us?  What if His kingdom is here in our midst, yet we fail to see it?  What if finding Him is much easier than we thought?

**

Dr. Karl Menninger was a psychiatrist who was revolutionary for his time and his thoughts are still challenging to the psychiatric field today.  Before World War II, when mental asylums were overcrowded, conditions were terrible, and the mentally ill had a stigma with society, Menninger opened up a clinic that actually loved patients and cured them of their problems rather than just isolating them from society or medicating them like they do now.  

"Love cures people-both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

"Love is a medicine for the sickness of the world; a prescription often given, too rarely taken."

"Love is the touchstone of psychiatric treatment ... to our patient who cannot love, we must say by our actions that we do love him" (1).

When Menninger was asked, "If you knew for a certainty that you were going to have a nervous breakdown, what would you do?"

He replied, "I would close my house; I would move over onto the other side of the tracks; I would knock on doors until I had an opportunity to meet somebody who had more problems than I did; and then I'd spend my time helping them solve those problems" (2).

Meninger knew that loving others is the best cure for the problems we face.

**

Jesus taught:

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,   I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’  And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,  you did it to me' (Matt 25:34-40 ESV).

It seems that I have taken a tangent from the idea that legalism brings division while love knits us together in unity, but Jesus' teaching that we love Him by loving the less fortunate isn't a tangent.  It's the cure to legalism.  Loving others, especially those who society deems unlovable, is exactly how we "seek the things that are above."  We can get hung up all sorts of crap when we are the church together.  We can get hung up on what music style we us, what songs we sing, whether we sit on pews or pew chairs, whether we have the lights dim or brighter, what programs we should or should not do, or one of the hundreds of other inane subjects.  But the real heart of our life together is love.  Love for one another and love for those around us.  When we let the other issues get in the way of us loving each other and loving those around us, we have become legalists.

A healthy family is not a family who always agree with one another.  A healthy family is one who works through their problems and disagreements because they love one another.  They don't give up on one another when times get tough or family decisions do not go their way.  "Hatred stirs up strife,  but love covers all offenses" (Prov 10:12 (ESV).  Hatred toward one another causes a family to disintegrate while love frees them to disagree.  The same is true of a healthy church.  We need to love one another through thick and thin because we have been knitted together in Christ.

"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving" (Col 2:6-7 ESV).  This walk in him does not come through self-centeredness that manifests itself in us warping Jesus into who we want Him to be or morphing our walk into a series of legalistic obstacles that we expect others to traverse.  This comes from living a transformed life, a life that is focused on loving others no matter what others might think of us.  For we have been "knit together in love" and hold "fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God" (Col 2:2, 2:19 ESV).  

Legalism brings about division, but love knits us together in unity.


**

1. Quoted in "Menninger's long history began with a small idea."  Menininger Institute. Web. 27 Nov. 2010.

2. Quoted from Clarke's personal file in Clarke, J. Richard. "The Royal Road to Happiness."  Brigham Young University. 30 October 1979. Web. 27 Nov. 2010.