Guest Blogger - On Paxifism, An Alternative Approach to Non-Violence or Pacifism

Today, we are having a guest blogger again. This is only the second one in Potholes history. So I would like to welcome Jason Vance into the fold. I have known Jason for around eight years. He was a always a guy who I admire for his devotion to following Christ.

Also, Irish Mist, if you have more questions after this, feel free to post them and I will think about them and write about my thoughts.

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I am going to venture into this discussion, but i think that it should be said up front, that I'm not sure it will do any good. If we are all seeking truth and God's will, than this can be beneficial for all of us. If we feel like we have already arrived at definitive truth and there is nothing that can be said to change our minds, i think we need to deal with the issue of pride. We are discussing a topic that has been debated since Constantine started allowing Christians to be soldiers. I am NOT going to sit here and type this pretending that I have all the answers and I have it all figured out and that everyone needs to just listen to me in order to be enlightened! I think that we can both learn from each other, if we are willing to listen to one another.

with that being said, here goes...

“Forgive me if I have been, am, or will in the future be too harsh. Prophecy is my gift, and it is sharp-edged.”

I think that we should be forgiving to one another (especially in this format of discussion where we can’t really tell people’s attitudes behind their typed words), but I do not think that we should use Prophecy as a ticket to be able to be harsh to one another. We can speak truth into each other’s lives without belittling or being rude. We should speak truthfully to one another out of love and with gentleness.

Irish Mist, you have lots of good questions, but you are also making a lot of assumptions. This is not some new fangled topic that has just crept up on Christianity. The Mennonites have always been non-violent and they have been around for quite a while. In fact, an amazing book that would deal with almost all of the questions that you have posed so far is called, “What Would You Do?” By John Howard Yoder (a mennonite). It’s a very short read, but very powerful and packed with good thoughts. It is all about the questions (and answers) that you posed with all of your different scenarios.

On to Mark Twain…
If we want to discredit a good thought, we could do that with every single person (with the exception of Jesus himself) by picking things out of their lives that aren’t good. Does this make the thought any less good? Is it possible that a non-Christian would be able to see a Christian truth? Yes, I think that it is! Sometimes God uses outside sources to really bring home a point when we just aren’t getting it. And sometimes we ignore those sources because we think that God wouldn’t use other people to get his point across. Maybe he has to sometimes when we don’t pay enough attention. Anyway, I think it would be wrong for us to ignore something based on the fact that they are not perfect. God can speak through any one of us if he wishes, and we should be open to hearing him (even in unusual places).

If you really look into the churches historical stance on violence you usually can only come to two different viewpoints (and remain biblical). One is that Christians should practice non-violence. And the other usually follows the Just War Theory. It is hard to find any solid theology beyond these two views. What is interesting is that people use the Just War Theory in order to justify all different sorts of violence that are not condoned in that theory. There is not a single advocate for the Just War Theory (that I have read) that believes that self-defense is justified. Yet, so many people will try to do just that! The Just War Theory was not created in order to justify Christians going to war (and killing people), it was created in order to attempt to keep governments in check when they decided to go to war. So far, there has not been a single war that has been entered into that has fit all of the qualifications for the just war theory. I think that the war to stop Hitler was probably the closest. But the ironic part about that is: Guess who the German Christians (if they followed the just war theory) were fighting for? It was their country!

This point has already been discussed a little, but I want to expand on it. As Christians, we belong to a different kingdom. Our loyalties are primarily (if not solely) with the Kingdom of God. There are members of the Kingdom of God living in every single country in the world! Are we going to go killing each other if the countries that we live in decide that they think we should go to war? Christian brother killing Christian brother in the name of some earthly kingdom? This seems like the allegiance is with the wrong kingdom. Can you imagine the people of the Church at Corinth participating in a war against the Church at Ephesus because they were both told to fight by their governments?

“And still my question remains unanswered: why didn't Jesus mention war and/or governmental policies? Surely he knew that many of his converts would be soldiers and/or policemen. Did Jesus forget? If not, what is the only other alternative?”

Surely Jesus knew that many of his converts would be drug dealers, prostitutes, and bank robbers. Does he mention any of them? Arguing from silence is a very tricky business. You imply that there is only one alternative to Jesus’ forgetfulness. I’d like to suggest at least one other possibility. Jesus didn’t need to deal with any direct professions, because he has told us how to live our lives. If a specific profession asks us to live a life contrary to what he has asked of us, does he really need to be redundant by saying not to do that job? In this way, Jesus can instruct us on how to live our lives regardless of what new jobs may pop up in the future.

Now I’ll attempt to answer some of your scenarios…

“What do you do with the Holocaust? Evil reigned, and only by war did evil subside. Are you willing to suggest that the soldiers involved in removing the third reich from power were going against the will of God? What do good, God-fearing MEN do when a sadistic ruler gasses hundreds of thousands of his own people? Do Christians sit back with their hands tied and say, ‘Can't help the defenseless, the fatherless and the widow. Sorry, Thou Shalt Not Kill and all.’”

Only by war did evil subside? Yes, that is the way things ended, but does that mean it was the only possible way that it could have ended? Good, God-fearing MEN show a self-sacrificial love for those people being murdered AND for the enemy that is causing it. Regan, made a very good point by showing the difference between “Pacifism” and non-violence. But even non-violence isn’t quite enough. We, as Christians, are not just called to be non-violent. We are called to be non-violent AND show love to the oppressed (and the oppressor). A good friend of mine thinks it may be beneficial to coin the term “paXifism” Where the X can stand for the greek Chi so that we are really talking about a Christ centered non-violent way of life that actively seeks to right the wrongs through any means necessary (besides violence). Am I suggesting that the soldiers who fought that war were going against the will of God? I’m suggesting that the soldiers who fought in that war, tried to take matters into their own hands because they weren’t sure that it could be handled the way that God has asked us to live as Christians. You ask me, “at what cost do you remain non-violent? How many lives must be lost?” But I ask you, “At what cost do you act contrary to Jesus teaching?” I think that it would have been amazing for all of the churches to take a stand against Hitler and say to the world, “Slaughter us if you must, but we will not sit back and allow you to commit these atrocities!” Expose Hitler’s plan for what it really was! Try to show love to the very soldiers that come to take you to the gas chamber. Do whatever is in your power to show them in some concrete way that you care about them. Not because it could save your life, but because we are told to by our savior! You might be thinking, “How can anything be accomplished without violence (in this situation)?” Well, you can ask Ghandi if you want to see how effective it is. But even that sort of misses the point. Christians should not be paxifists because less people will die this way (although it very well might be true). Christians should be paxifist because we are instructed to live such lives by Jesus himself. Whether it is to our own detriment or not, this is part of the life he has called us to. So we need to be willing to literally pick up our cross and follow him. I.M. you assume that the only way to help the defenseless, fatherless, and widow is to be violent. Is this how Jesus helped them? Why not stand up for them? Take their place if need be, but do all of it in Love! Being paxifist does not tie your hands at all, it frees you from the Bonds of violence in order to act in the most loving ways possible.

“What does a God-fearing committed Christian man do when he comes home from work to disturb a sadist who has just raped, tortured, and brutally murdered his family and now holds the knife at the man's own throat?”

If he has already murdered my entire family and now has the knife at my throat it seems quite simple. Love him. My family is already gone, so the only thing left is self-defense. You made this question too easy! Who is to say that my life is more important than his? God is the only one who can do that. I already know that my salvation is secure, I have nothing to fear in death. I also know that if he has done these things to my family and is ready to kill me, he probably isn’t very familiar with Jesus Christ, who died to save him. Why would I want to kill him while he is in this state? Again, you are assuming a lot. Like there was nothing happening and all of the sudden everything is already done and we are at the moment where he has a knife to my throat (no chance to act in between). This doesn’t leave much left to be done. But I still have a few ways I could try to show him Love. The way I speak to him, my willingness to die rather than harm him. I could offer to feed him, or tend to any of his physical needs (maybe he got wounded while breaking into my house). I could tell him that I love him and I could continue to pray for God’s strength to be a good witness of his Kingdom and show this hurting person God’s love and forgiveness.

“What does the world need with policemen, anyway? If you are a Christian, you should abandon any kind of job involved in "keeping the peace" because one day you will most assuredly have to shoot a lunatic.”

God can still use policemen to help uphold the worldly kingdoms enough for His word to be spread without total and utter chaos. But Christians have another purpose. Our purpose is to be the foretaste of God’s Kingdom. How can we be a foretaste of it, if we live in ways that are contrary to it? And again I say, if your job causes you to act in a way that Jesus has asked you not to, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. That doesn’t mean that anyone who does that job is a horrible person, it just means that they have a different purpose they are playing out that is not part of the Christian narrative.

“What do you do when you are on a plane that's been hijacked, and you have been told by the demons in charge that the plan is to ram this plane into the Pentagon and kill thousands of people? Are you sinning to try to stop that massacre from occurring if one of the demons has to die in the process? But if you restrain yourself, you will kill thousands by your inaction. Is that less of a sin? Is THAT a heroic deed? Is THAT honorable in God's eyes?”

The “demons” in charge of the plane? Without even getting into a spiritual/supernatural discussion on actual demons I think we can safely say that there are still actual humans in charge of the plane. Even if they are under the influence of demons, Jesus still treated them like people and I think that we should too. Calling people anything less than “images of God” is usually an attempt to de-humanize them. This is actually what the American military does about it’s enemies so that the soldiers will have an easier time killing them. Lets try to keep talking as if we are dealing with God’s Creation (even if they are making some really poor decisions), because it makes it more difficult to just kill them off with a clear conscience. Why can’t you attempt to stop the massacre in a non-violent way? You are right if you think that the chances are slim and that you would probably die. But the odds are actually the same if you try a violent method. And again, it is not about which method saves more lives (although lives are sacred, it is not up to us to choose which ones. They all are!). It is about which method is more Christ-like. Do not “restrain” yourself, just don’t be violent! Again, you assume that non-violent = inaction. This definitely should not be. Violence is not the only thing that will change a scenario, but it is the worldly way to deal with something like this.

“Your true reasoning behind your self-acclaimed "non-violent" nature seems to be your idea of the sanctity of life.”

You are partially right, but I am not willing to say which life is more sanctified! The true reasoning behind this non-violent nature is the nature of Christ and his teachings. The results of what happens because of this life style are not as important as the fact that we follow Christ’s example. Another thing that is a major factor is the loving of enemies that Jesus talks about. Difficult to do while shooting them!

Those are just some thoughts on the topic, sorry if it isn’t one concise and neat thought. I typed this over a few different sittings.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts,
In Christ’s love,
jason

Watch out for the potholes.

Changing to a Kingdom without Borders Changed the Role of Followers and War

 
Another reply to the previous post's replies. My reply was just too long, so now it is a post.

The switch of the kingdom from one with national boundaries to one that resides in nations throughout the world weighs heavily into this the changing role of followers of God and war. We no longer need to resort to physical violence to keep or expand the kingdom. I would be more open to (although I'm not even slightly convinced) the church rising up and attacking pagan nations as the Kingdom of God than I am in believing that people of God's kingdom should join a temporal kingdom in fighting another temporal kingdom for temporal gains. How does Christians fighting in earthly wars further God's kingdom?

Being non-violent, some of the toughest passages to deal with are Jesus's conversations with soldiers. He doesn't tell them to leave the military, but I don't think that neither proves or denies his view on peace. Silence is just silence.

We do have teachings that reveal a different role for people in this revised kingdom than for the people who were in the original kingdom. The Old Testament taught an eye for an eye. The new teaches turning the other cheek, not suing, and loving our enemies. It is better for us to be wrong than than to wrong. I see no room for violence, even if it is corporately sanctioned violence, in a life living those principles.

God will use pagan nations to do his will and mold the world into what he wants it to be, so I still believe that He might ordain war. But that doesn't mean that Christians should join in. It is not out of God's character to use the immoral actions of pagan nations to further his plan for the earth.

Also, I agree that it appears Mark Twain wasn't a Christian, but that doesn't mean that what he discerned wasn't true. He saw a group that claimed to be loving condoning the killing of other humans. Even to a non-Christian like Mark Twain, that seemed to be contrary to the principles of Christianity.

Watch out for the potholes.

On Being Christian and Non-Violent - Leaving the Violence to God

This is in reply to the reply in my previous post from Irish Mist. It was long enough to warrant it's own post.

I don't believe God is not violent. I think I posted thoughts on how he could be responsible for the hurricanes. My point was that we don't know whether he did it or not, but I don't believe it is outside of his will to cause a hurricane to strike a city.

So I have no problem with God being violent and smiting people or causing catastrophes. But just becaue God does that in his infinite wisdom, does that mean we can do the same? I haven't been able to make that leap yet.

Also, I was just trying to explain why I felt uncomfortable, a feeling that many people have told me was inappropriate. Mark Twain's War Prayer was a big reason for my feeling that way. I did not mean my post to be condescending. However, I do think that any time we disagree on a subject it can appear condescending because we believe we are right and the other side is wrong. I guess that is the nature of belifs. However, I do believe I could be wrong. I just haven't been persuaded.

Here are a few verses that I have trouble with and cause me to believe the way I do.

Romans 12:19 - "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

Matthew 5:39 - "But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also."

I don't know how I can interpret those verses in a way that allows me to take things in my own hand and inflict violence. I feel that I have to leave the violence to God.

Watch out for the Potholes.

The War Prayer

Many have thought I overreacted to the prayer for the soldier. Mark Twain's War Prayer was going through my head when the prayer was being said. Maybe I am tainted by that.

Here is Mark Twain's War Prayer:

It was a time of great and exalting excitement. The country was up in arms, the war was on, in every breast burned the holy fire of patriotism; the drums were beating, the bands playing, the toy pistols popping, the bunched firecrackers hissing and spluttering; on every hand and far down the receding and fading spread of roofs and balconies a fluttering wilderness of flags flashed in the sun; daily the young volunteers marched down the wide avenue gay and fine in their new uniforms, the proud fathers and mothers and sisters and sweethearts cheering them with voices choked with happy emotion as they swung by; nightly the packed mass meetings listened, panting, to patriot oratory which stirred the deepest deeps of their hearts, and which they interrupted at briefest intervals with cyclones of applause, the tears running down their cheeks the while; in the churches the pastors preached devotion to flag and country, and invoked the God of Battles beseeching His aid in our good cause in outpourings of fervid eloquence which moved every listener. It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.

Sunday morning came -- next day the battalions would leave for the front; the church was filled; the volunteers were there, their young faces alight with martial dreams -- visions of the stern advance, the gathering momentum, the rushing charge, the flashing sabers, the flight of the foe, the tumult, the enveloping smoke, the fierce pursuit, the surrender! Then home from the war, bronzed heroes, welcomed, adored, submerged in golden seas of glory! With the volunteers sat their dear ones, proud, happy, and envied by the neighbors and friends who had no sons and brothers to send forth to the field of honor, there to win for the flag, or, failing, die the noblest of noble deaths. The service proceeded; a war chapter from the Old Testament was read; the first prayer was said; it was followed by an organ burst that shook the building, and with one impulse the house rose, with glowing eyes and beating hearts, and poured out that tremendous invocation

*God the all-terrible! Thou who ordainest! Thunder thy clarion and lightning thy sword!*

Then came the "long" prayer. None could remember the like of it for passionate pleading and moving and beautiful language. The burden of its supplication was, that an ever-merciful and benignant Father of us all would watch over our noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort, and encourage them in their patriotic work; bless them, shield them in the day of battle and the hour of peril, bear them in His mighty hand, make them strong and confident, invincible in the bloody onset; help them to crush the foe, grant to them and to their flag and country imperishable honor and glory --

An aged stranger entered and moved with slow and noiseless step up the main aisle, his eyes fixed upon the minister, his long body clothed in a robe that reached to his feet, his head bare, his white hair descending in a frothy cataract to his shoulders, his seamy face unnaturally pale, pale even to ghastliness. With all eyes following him and wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he ascended to the preacher's side and stood there waiting. With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence, continued with his moving prayer, and at last finished it with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms, grant us the victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector of our land and flag!"

The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside -- which the startled minister did -- and took his place. During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then in a deep voice he said:

"I come from the Throne -- bearing a message from Almighty God!" The words smote the house with a shock; if the stranger perceived it he gave no attention. "He has heard the prayer of His servant your shepherd, and will grant it if such shall be your desire after I, His messenger, shall have explained to you its import -- that is to say, its full import. For it is like unto many of the prayers of men, in that it asks for more than he who utters it is aware of -- except he pause and think.

"God's servant and yours has prayed his prayer. Has he paused and taken thought? Is it one prayer? No, it is two -- one uttered, the other not. Both have reached the ear of Him Who heareth all supplications, the spoken and the unspoken. Ponder this -- keep it in mind. If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. If you pray for the blessing of rain upon your crop which needs it, by that act you are possibly praying for a curse upon some neighbor's crop which may not need rain and can be injured by it.

"You have heard your servant's prayer -- the uttered part of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other part of it -- that part which the pastor -- and also you in your hearts -- fervently prayed silently. And ignorantly and unthinkingly? God grant that it was so! You heard these words: 'Grant us the victory, O Lord our God!' That is sufficient. the *whole* of the uttered prayer is compact into those pregnant words. Elaborations were not necessary. When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory--*must* follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!

"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.

(*After a pause.*) "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits!"

It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said.

***

I'm sure that our pastor didn't pray to kill the enemy soldiers, but it is war. That is the purpose of the military. I can't seperate praying for an American soldier and praying for American victory, which happens to be violent, in war. I wouldn't be comfortable unless the prayer was about peace, reconciliation, and a plea for the prevention of bloodshed. I think if you were non-violent, you would agree too. Then again, maybe not. Some non-violent person might come along and tell me differently.

I feel I must point out that this wasn't one of the main reasons we are searching for a new church. It just made me feel uncomfortable.

Watch out for the potholes.

Rethinking Education in the Church Revisited

I posted a while ago on education in the church. At that time, I said I would address the questions that came up in the comments. I have yet to do that. Here is my attempt to do that adequately. I feel I will fail. Irish Mist gave a reply that in the original comments that is probably better than what will come here. I would love to hear more thoughts on how this would work or whether we should try to make it work.

Here is what you would find a little of if you followed that link:

Here's what I mean. In a group taught by one person there is a teacher. The teacher prepares a lesson. He studies. He prays. He searches out the Scriptures and seeks God's will for what he is supposed to teach. Then after struggling with it all week, he presents his findings in a discussion or lecture format to the class.

My dream was to have a group of people where everyone studied, prayed, searched out the Scriptures, and sought God's will for what they were to share the next week at church. Then when the church gathered together, everyone would just share from the heart rather than be presented a planned lesson. That never happened.

There were a few good replies back. I'm going to focus on answering the questions that Mr. Vitz brought up.

"How would you avoid groupthink? The kind that discourages creativity and individual responsibility?"

This whole method would focus on creativity and individual responsibility. People would be expected to have studied beforehand and educate themselves. They would come up with their own conclusions prior to hearing the thoughts of other members in the group. Groupthink would require everyone to have their views be filtered by the leader or by the group themself prior to giving them an option to come to their own conclusion alone. I envision groupthink as being more conducive to a setting where the information is given in the same meeting that a decision would need to be made. Nobody is allowed to take the thoughts home and ponder them. Groupthink would discourage challenging questions, while this method would encourage it. The group would be given information and be expected to come to a specified conclusion. Some of those conclusions would more than likely vary from one another. A discussion with previous personal Bible study would actually bring together a group of people who have already arrived at various conclusions.

I would actually argue that the one-man teacher format has a lot more in common with groupthink than a group of people who study on their own and get together to discuss.
I don't think the method of education I propose would encourage groupthink but individuals in the group thinking.

Wikipedia has a good posting on groupthink and a great section on ways to avoid it. It also has a link in that article on consensus decision-making, a process it considers the opposite of groupthink. It sounds awfully similar to the approach used in the Lansing churches to make decisions.

Eric Vitz wrote:

Further, God has called some of us to be teachers... Eph. 4:11-13, "It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

One's calling is not dictated by one's position.

In the American church we like to have permanency of one's calling at one location by slapping on a position. We do this with most every role in the church. In the case of a preacher, we will also give money to them to solidify the permancency even more. This gives them the position unchallenged with the deadly potential of them still having the position when the calling from God might have moved on. Hopefully, they are godly enough that when God calls them out of their position, they will be open to stepping down. God could even call a pastor to just serve in the church he was paid to minister at and have someone else take their place. Most situations don't even allow that to be an option. In our attempt to make our roles permanent, we open the door wide to the option of quenching the Spirit.

Also, the model we currently use means that one class for each person called to be a teacher. Why is that? Why can't it be a class with multiple people called to be teachers? Might it be more beneficial for a group being educated to hear two people called to be teachers interacting with one another?

So those who God has called to be teachers will still be teachers because that is their calling from God. I would assume that those called would be the ones who receive insight more often. They would be the ones who would shape what is going to be studied. But that doesn't mean that God only wants to funnel his teachings into the church through them. I believe he wants to do it through everyone, through the priesthood of believers. This method does not quench the calling of teachers. I propose that it actually creates an environment that makes teachers better educators.

Eric wrote:

There are Christians who are spiritual babies, shouldn't they be instructed in a "student/teacher" role? I keep thinking of my children (and perhaps this analogy is a stretch), but when my children are young, I want to instruct them on how to behave properly, etc. When they are older and more mature, and able to reason, I will allow leniency and input until eventually they will make decisions for themselves, research and formulate their own thoughts. But as infants, I make the choices and instruct.

I would actually want to expect the most of out of the spiritual baby. Teach them how to study the Scriptures in depth. Show them what commentaries are. Show them what a concordance is. Show them how to seek God's thoughts through prayer. Everyone in the group will know that they are a spiritual baby, so I'm sure they will take that into consideration when hearing his thoughts. However, most spiritual babies I know are more on fire for God and have an unquenchable thirst for the Scriptures.

We need to be careful to not place them into a leadership role. But I don't know if I would consider sharing their thoughts in a biblical discusssion an act of leadership.

I do believe that new Christians need special attention. It would be wise to disciple them by doing a one-on-one Bible study with them and involving them in how you lovingly serve those in your church and community. But I've never been in a one-on-one Bible study where one guy did all the talking. It is usually a mutual growing experience, especially when one of the people is lit up like new Christians usually are.

Eric continued:

Is there a difference spiritually? Should we allow spiritual infants to instruct in a group setting? Please understand, I'm not dissuading the asking of questions... my point is, to whom will questions be asked? If they are directed to a group, it seems the setting almost gives permission for individual interpretation. Who is responsible for saying, "No, that's inaccurate, the Bible states..." You might say, everyone is responsible for each others' acountability, but people are not all similar... I might know the truth but be too timid to speak up, or intimidated by someone's aggressive stance.

Despite whether we like it or not, everyone is already coming up with their individual interpretations of what we teach. However, now they just keep it secret and head on home. Using the discussion format would actually reveal to those gifted in teaching in the group where they are not communicating well. It would also show the teachers who they might need to meet with during the week and further discuss while over dinner or coffee. I strongly believe that those gifted and called to be teachers would still be viewed by the group as the ones with authority because that is given to them by God.

What we are discussing is how do we best educate, not how do we insure that only proper doctrine is spoken at all times. The best education will have people reveal the false doctrine that they hold in their hearts in order to have it be fixed. It will create an environment where the church can be of one mind. This will bring times of false doctrine being shared in the group, in which it would immediately and lovingly be countered by those who are more sound in their doctrine. And maybe what we consider false doctrine might actually be correct, and we, the teachers, would have to reexamine things. This is about creating an environment that encourages seeking from everyone involved and not just the teachers. We need to, as Muddy pointed out in her comment, make sure that it doesn't ever turn into a debate but into a loving discussion that transforms the whole group into more faithful disciples.

Those are my thoughts for today.

Watch out for the potholes.

And I'm sorry about the Martin Luther thing, but I don't want to have two blogspot accounts. Maybe I'll start an account at a different blogging site.

An Identity Change & Singlemindedness

If you notice, my identity changed. I'm working on a new blog that I will announce when I am ready for it, but I had to change my identity for it. I figured out another way to do it, but that was after spending two hours on it, so from now on this blog will say that it is written by Martin Luther. You regulars will know better. I am not Martin Luther.

***

If, as we read our Bibles, we heard Jesus speaking to us in this way today we should probably try to argue ourselves out of it like this: "It is true that the demand of Jesus is definite enough, but I have to remember that he never expects us to take his command legalistically. What he really wants me to have is faith. But my faith is not necessarily tied up with riches or poverty or anything of the kind. We may be both poor and rich in the spirit. It is not important that I should have no possessions, but if I do I must keep them as though I had them not, in other words I must cultivate a spirit of inward detachment, so that my heart is not in my possessions." Jesus said, "Sell thy goods," but he meant: "Do not let it be a matter of consequence to you that you have outward prosperity; rather keep your goods quietly, having them as if you had them not. Let not your heart be in your goods."

We are excusing ourselves from single-minded obedience to the word of Jesus on the pretext of legalism and a supposed preference for an obedience "in faith." The difference between ourselves and the rich young man is that he was not allowed to solace his regrets by saying: "Never mind what Jesus says, I can still hold on to my riches, but in a spirit of inner detachment. Despite my inadequacy I can take comfort in the thought that God has forgiven me my sins and can have fellowship with Christ in faith." But no, he went away sorrowful. Because he would not obey, he could not believe. In this the young man was quite hones. He went away from Jesus and indeed this honesty had more promise than any apparent communion with Jesus based on disobedience. As Jesus realized, the trouble with the young man was that he was not capable of such an inward detachment from riches. As an earnest seeker for perfection he had probably tried it a thousand times before and failed, as he showed by refusing to obey the word of Jesus when the moment of decision came. It is just here that the young man was entirely honest.

But we in our sophistry differ altogether from the heaarers of Jesus' word of whom the Bible speaks. If Jesus said to someone: "Leave all else behind and follow me; resign your profession, quit your family, your people, and the home of your fathers," then he knew that to this call there was only one answer-the answer of single-minded obedience, and that it is only to this obedience that the promise of fellowship with Jesus is given. But we should probably argue thus: "Of course we are meant to take the call of Jesus with 'absolute seriousness,' but after all the true way of obedience would be to continue all the more in our present occupations, to stay with our families, and serve him there in a spirit of true inward detachment."

If Jesus challenge us with the command: "Get out of it," we should take him to mean: "Stay where you are but cultivate that inward detachment."

Again, if he were to say to us: "Be not anxious," we should take him to mean: "Of course it is not wrong for us to be anxious: we must work and provide for ourselves and our dependents. If we did not we should be shirking our responsibilities. But all the time we ought to be inwardly free from all anxiety."

Perhaps Jesus would say to us: "Whosoever smiteth thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." We should then suppose him to mean: "The way really to love your enemy is to fight him hard and hit him back.

Jesus might say: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God," and we should interpret it thus: "Of course we should have to seek all sorts of other things first; how could we otherwise exist? What he really means is the final preparedness to stake all on the kingdom of God."

All along the line we are trying to evade the obligation of single-minded, literal obedience.

That was from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship.

Watch out for the potholes.

The Journey Begins - Trying to Find a Church Home

Well, we have decided to take a leave from our present church. I've been feeling the pull for a while now and finally responded. We made a list of reasons why we should stay and a list of reasons why we should go. The "go" list won out. I don't want to go into details because I don't want to discourage anyone who is going to the church we are leaving. It is a good place with good people and a good leader.

But now we begin the arduous journey of finding our place in the kingdom here on earth. I really don't know how to go about it. Right now, my list of things that I'm looking for in a church are the following. If you know of a place in the area where I live, please let me know.

  • They seek God's will through his written word and being sensitive to his leadings.
  • They are full of love. They love one another and it overflows into the community they live in.
  • They promote radical discipleship which results in a foretaste of the fully-realized kingdom of God.
  • They emphasize the priesthood of believers.
  • They live in the reality of the worldwide kingdom accepting brothers and sisters across all denomenational lines and national boundaries.

Those are the biggies to me. Now the journey begins. Maybe we'll end up where we started. I have no idea.

Watch out for the potholes.

I Didn't Belong

If you've been reading a while, you might have noticed that I'm non-violent and not pro-American (meaning I view American as equal to every other nation in God's eyes - America is not God's country). As told in a previous post, I did get in trouble by a new winister when I was a youth ministe for removing the American flag from the sanctuary with the previous minister. The general reason I am not a American patriot is that the church is a seperate kingdom from the nation of America. Our citizenship is primarily, maybe even wholly, in a seperate kingdom than that of the land we live in. Our brothers in sisters reside in nations around the world, even enemy nations. I believe my citizenship in the kingdom of God is real now, and that effects my view of being an American. It doesn't make me hostile towards America, but I don't identify with America either.

Anyway, this week at church I felt a little ackward. We had a recent high school graduate that will be leaving for the military this week. They had him come forward for prayer. Any that wanted to come forward to pray by laying on of hands also did so. I think this is one of the first times that I really felt like an outsider at a church. I can't recall another (I usually skip 4th of July Sunday because of the patriotism). It felt weird. I felt that I didn't belong there.

***

I typed the following quote and while typing it the previous post came to my mind. Posts that deal with the church I attend are usually not posted because I don't want to cause conflict. I hope that post won't cause conflict. This comes from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship.

Discipleship means adherence to Christ, and, because Christ is the object of that adherence, it must take the form of discipleship. An abstract Christology, a doctrinal system, a general religious knowledge on the subject of grace or on the forgiveness of sins, render discipleship superfluous, and in fact they positively exclude any idea of discipleship whatever, and are essentially inimical to the whole conception of following Christ. With an abstract idea it is possible to enter into a relation of formal knowledge, to become enthusiastic about it, and perhaps even put it into practice; but it can never be followed in personal obedience. Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship, and Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ. It remains an abstract idea, a myth which has a place for the Fatherhood of God, but omits Christ as the living Son. And a Christianity of that kind is nothing more or less than the end of discipleship. In such a religion there is trust in God, but no following of Christ. Because the Son of God became Man, because he is the Mediator, for that reason alone the only true relation we can have with him is to follow him. Discipleship is bound to Christ as the Mediator, and where it is properly understood, it necessarily implies faith in the Son of God as the Mediator. Only the Mediator, the God-Man, can call men to follow him.

Watch out for the potholes.

Remember Love and the Kingdom - An Ordination Message

These are the main points from an ordination message I gave two weeks ago at the ordination for Jason Wilson in Alma, MI. He is now the youth minister in Mt. Pleasant, MI.

***

Hollywood is filled with many people lifted off of the page of comic books with superpowers. There is the Joker, Spider-Man, Dr. Octopus, Superman, Professor X - the list goes on. Each one of them has super talents that makes them greater than most, but they all aren't heroes. Something besides ability seperates heroes from villains, and I propose that is love.

John 13:34-35

"I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Every vocation has its obstacles to love. Being a paid minister opens up a few obstacles that many of us don't face.

First is the obstacle of study. For many, study seems to become an end in itself. It needs to just be a tool that makes us more loving. The Bible nevers says that we are Christians based upon the amount of knowledge we have. Be careful not to spend too much time studying in the office to the exclusion of loving in the streets, houses, and other events of the community.

Second is the obstacle of numbers. You can think you're doing a good job if you're growing numerically. But even the Detroit Lions can attract a crowd week in and week out. Just because more poeple are coming doesn't mean that your church is more Christ-like. Measure your success by love, not by numbers.

Third is the obstacle of programs. They are sometimes necessary in order to bring the body together. However, all of the programs you can think of, even if organized and conducted flawlessly, don't mean you have a successful ministry. Only if the people you are ministering to become more loving can you say that a program was successful.

Fourth is the obstacle of projects. With that, I mean turning people into projects. Too often we find people with a need and turn them into a project to be fixed rather than a friend to be loved. Effective ministry will rarely happen if we view those we minister to as projects rather than friends.

Christ didn't come and just teach us about love; he showed us what it means to be loving people. Teach love. Preach love. But most importantly, live a life of love. Always keep the love of Christ central to your ministry.

Now, I would like to talk about beer goggles. For those who don't know what beer goggles is, it is a phrase that is used when drinking. It explains the crazy tendency that some people have to view uglier women in a different light due to the alcohol flowing in their veins. Beer goggles make ugly women pretty, at least in our eyes.

I would encourage you to not put on beer goggles, but to put on similar goggles, kingdom goggles. When you put them on, you see everyone in the light that God sees them rather in the fallen light that reality shows them in. The fallen can be great followers of Christ. The weak can be strong in the Lord. The blind can see what God is showing them. When we are so full of Christ and His cause, we begin to see people and the world the way he does. We see everything through kingdom goggles.

Matthew 6:33

"But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Part of your striving for the kingdom, especially as a leader in the church, is to help others strive for the kingdom. Sadly, you will find resistance to this in the ministry. We live in a church culture where kingdom living isn't the exalted norm. We have watered down Christianity.

Jesus' call isn't as easy to follow as we hear it portrayed on television and at the end of many sermons.

Matthew 16:24-26

"Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?'"

Jesus expects nothing less than self-sacrificing discipleship. Don't expect anything less than that from the people you minister to. View people through kingdom goggles and you will see them with all of their potential the way God sees them.

And don't lighten expectations for yourself and for others. Keep the expectation at complete self-sacrificing discipleship. Don't ever soften the demands of the kingdom down for those on the fringe. Expect complete discipleship for everyone. Anything less is a different gospel.

Watch out for the potholes.

Revised and reworked sermon - A Shepherd in the Storm

This is the final sermon. There might be some changes in presentation, but I added a lot. Also, part of the sermon is an internet exclusive. Who ever said stopping by PWOOP wasn't worth the time? We give internet exclusives. Time won't allow me to preach it.

***

Two Fridays ago, I went to the library with Isaac, Megan, Kendra, and Scott. While there I tried to find things to read. One magazine stood out - Last week’s Newsweek with a headline “Spirituality in America.” They had a survey in the article. One of the questions was “In which one of the following situations do you personally feel most connected with God or the divine?” Here are the options. What would you answer? Praying alone or meditation, in nature, in a house of worship, praying with others, reading a sacred text, and other. Here is what America answered. 40 % answered “When they are praying alone or meditating.” 21% answered “When they are in nature.” Another 21% answered “When they are in a house of worship.” 6% answered “When they are praying with others.” 2% answered “When they are reading a sacred text.” Nobody answered with what today’s message is going to be on. It wasn’t even an option. But before I get there, let’s read a passage from John 10. Jesus is talking right after addressing the issue of spiritual blindness.

John 10:1-6
1 "Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good - a sheep rustler! 2 The shepherd walks right up to the gate. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. 5 They won't follow a stranger's voice but will scatter because they aren't used to the sound of it."
Jeremiah wrote in Jeremiah 7:23-24
23 But this command I gave them, "Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people; and walk only in the way that I command you, so that it may be well with you." 24 Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but, in the stubbornness of their evil will, they walked in their own counsels, and looked backward rather than forward.
In these two passages we have a contrast. In Jeremiah, we have a passage where the people of God stopped listening to Him and stopped being the people he intended for them to be.

On the other side, we have sheep who know their master so well that they recognize his voice. They follow him wherever he leads.

We seem to constantly forget that God is always at work on us. We oftentimes live as if we are sheep that enter or were born in our shepherd’s fenced in farm and aren’t taken out to the pasture any more. We narrow down the areas of our life that we encounter our shepherd to times that we are praying, in worship, in nature, or reading the Bible. We deceive ourselves into thinking that conversion matters more than daily following. I think it is interesting to note that the story of the shepherd isn’t about us going into a safe fenced in area –about the conversion-, but the story is about sheep who know their shepherd so well that they follow his voice wherever he leads across the countryside.

Jesus is that shepherd. If not in your life, He wants to be. He is continually at work in our lives and around us. No matter what we believe. No matter where we are in life, Jesus is at work drawing us near to Him. We need to become more attuned to hearing his voice and seeing Him, not just when doing spiritual things but by turning everything we do into spiritual things.

Ken Gire wrote in Windows of the Soul:
“We reach for God in many ways. Through our sculptures and our scriptures. Through our pictures and our prayers. Through our writing and our worship. And through them He reaches for us.

His search begins with something said. Ours begins with something heard. His begins with something shown. Ours, with something seen. Our search for God and His search for us meet at windows in our everyday experience.

These are the windows of the soul.

In a sense, it’s something like spiritual disciplines for the spiritually undisciplined. In another sense, it is the most rigorous of disciplines-the discipline of awareness. For we must always be looking and listening if we are to see the windows and hear what is being spoken to us through them.

But we must learn to look with more than just our eyes and listen with more than just our ears, for the sounds are sometimes faint and the sights sometimes far away. We must be aware, at all times and in all places, because windows are everywhere, and at any time we may find one.

Or one may find us. Though we will hardly know it…unless we are searching for Him who for so long has been searching for us.”
And this is one of the greatest principles of Christianity – God is seeking us. He is our loving shepherd. He longs for us to follow him. Even during catastrophic events like the hurricane that hit the Gulf coast last week and the terrible aftermath in New Orleans, God is still at work seeking us. Even during the catastrophic events we encounter in our personal lives like the death of loved ones and illnesses, God is still at work seeking us. He is a loving shepherd always at work in our lives, whether through the tranquil sunsets or the raging storm. He tries to help us grow closer to Him.

***The beginning of the internet exclusive section***

Matthew 24
1 Jesus then left the Temple. As he walked away, his disciples pointed out how very impressive the Temple architecture was. 2 Jesus said, "You're not impressed by all this sheer size, are you? The truth of the matter is that there's not a stone in that building that is not going to end up in a pile of rubble." 3 Later as he was sitting on Mount Olives, his disciples approached and asked him, "Tell us, when are these things going to happen? What will be the sign of your coming, that the time's up?"
4 Jesus said, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. 5 Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities, claiming, 'I am Christ, the Messiah.' They will deceive a lot of people. 6 When reports come in of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history; this is no sign of the end. 7 Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Famines and earthquakes will occur in various places. 8 This is nothing compared to what is coming. 9 "They are going to throw you to the wolves and kill you, everyone hating you because you carry my name. 10 And then, going from bad to worse, it will be dog-eat-dog, everyone at each other's throat, everyone hating each other. 11 "In the confusion, lying preachers will come forward and deceive a lot of people. 12 For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes. 13 "Staying with it - that's what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry, and you'll be saved. 14 All during this time, the good news - the Message of the kingdom - will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country. And then the end will come.
Many like to focus on the end times, but most of us will more than likely face an end time separate from one another. The main concern of Jesus doesn’t seem to be what will we do at the end times as believers, but it is what will we do during the rough times of our lives as followers of Him.

I found most of the following story on msnbc.com.

A woman named Susan Torres was 15 weeks’ pregnant when she was hospitalized May 6 for a stroke caused by a melanoma that had spread to her brain. She was brain dead for the next three months, but her family kept Torres on life support in a race to save her baby even as cancer ravaged the young woman’s body.

By Tuesday, doctors said Torres’ health was deteriorating and that the risk of harm to the fetus finally outweighed the benefits of extending the pregnancy.

Later that day, doctors delivered the baby by Cesarean section.

Her husband, Jason Torres, had quit his job to be by his wife’s side during the ordeal, spending each night sleeping in a reclining chair next to her bed. The couple have one other child — 2-year-old Peter, who has been staying with his grandparents.

The family kept Susan alive long enough for the baby to grow old enough to be born. After the baby had been born and the mother had died, Jason, the widow and father, was on Good Morning, America where I saw him say, “There’s no atheists in foxholes and there are no atheists in the ICU.”

In a different sort of story, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., who was awarded a Purple Heart in World War II, yet is more known as a writer of such books as Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions, wrote in Hocus Pocus a conversation between the main character and a guy named Jack after going to a church service. The story goes:
“The sermon was based on what he (the preacher) claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, "There's a Chaplain who never visited the front."
If an atheist who served in foxholes believes that there are people in foxholes who still don’t believe in God and Jason Torres believes in his deepest foxhole that there are no atheist in foxholes, I am left with the impression, beside the fact that Jason Torres is sadly wrong, that when in the foxhole your true beliefs spring forth. There is no holding it back. It’s like a jack-in-box. We wind and wind and wind. We know that something is going to pop out at any time. We just don’t know when. Like a jack that was placed in the box prior to the winding springs out of the box at any time, our true beliefs that we place in our souls prior to the struggles of life spring forth when confronted with unplanned catastrophe.

And it’s at these times of great catastrophe that God is still at work in our lives. I don’t know if God prompted me to share this today because someone sitting here is going through a great catastrophe right now and he wants to tell you something. Or maybe we are just being prepared to keep our eyes focused on Him during an upcoming catastrophe. Or maybe I was just so struck by the catastrophe in New Orleans that I wanted to revisit what it means to focus on God during catastrophe. Whatever the case, I know that God is at work in catastrophes. During them, He wants us to keep focused on him.

That is the theme of all the end times passages in Scripture. They aren’t about us discerning when the end times will come because Jesus said that he didn’t even know the day or the hour. The main theme of the book of Revelation and the previous passage from Matthew 24 isn’t when will the end times come, but that during the rough trials that we will face as Christians, we need to persevere, to remain faithful. We can do that by keeping our eyes on God through every situation life throws at us.

Jesus says the end times will be marked by wars, rumors of wars, famines, and earthquakes. One of my favorite preachers has this to say on the subject. It’s a little lengthy, but I thought it’s appropriate to share here. And if you can guess who the speaker is before the end, I’ll give you a donut (as long as some are left in foyer) after church.

“I do not wish to force any one to believe as I do; neither will I permit anyone to deny me the right to believe that the last day is near at hand. These words and signs of Christ compel me to believe that such is the case. For the history of the centuries that have passed since the birth of Christ nowhere reveals conditions like those of the present. There has never been such building and planting in the world. There has never been such gluttonous and varied eating and drinking as now. Wearing apparel has reached its limit in costliness. Who has ever heard of such commerce as now encircles the earth? There have arisen all kinds of art and sculpture, embroidery and engraving, the like of which has not been seen during the whole Christian era.

In addition men are so delving into the mysteries of things that today a boy of twenty knows more than twenty doctors formerly knew. There is such a knowledge of languages and all manner of wisdom that it must be confessed, the world has reached such great heights in the things that pertain to the body, or as Christ calls them, ‘cares of life’, eating, drinking, building, planting, buying, selling, marrying and giving in marriage, that every one must see and say either ruin or a change must come. It is hard to see how a change can come. Day after day dawns and the same conditions remain. There was never such keenness, understanding, and judgment among Christians in bodily and temporal things as now-I forbear to speak of the new inventions, printing, firearms, and other implements of war.”
He goes on to talk about the spiritual depravity of the world he lived in. If it wasn’t for the “new inventions of the printing press and firearms, I would think that Martin Luther, who preached that in 1522, was talking about today. We sometimes get hung up on the end times, rather than focusing on God during events that appear like those that lead to the end times. However, the signs have filled the ages since Christ, and in every age people thought their age to be the last. That doesn’t mean that ours won’t be, but it does seem to point out that we need to not focus on the end times but upon the God who brings about the signs. The signs are just that – signs. They are pointing to God, not the end. God is always at work in us, trying to mold us into who he intends us to be. The earthquakes, the wars, all of the great catastrophes of mankind should be seen as God prompting us to focus more on him.

***End Internet Exclusive Section***

Whatever your catastrophe is, God is trying to speak to you in that moment. We will all face our end time. Whether that end time is going to come from an accidental death, some disease, or a death from old age isn’t that much a concern for me. What is a concern for me is whether I am prepared for my end time, whether that end time is the same as all of yours as in the grand End Times or whether it is something I will face lying in a hospital bed when I’m ninety doesn’t change a bit about how I need to be prepared for it. God is working on us day in and day out. He works when we’re sleeping. He works when we’re awake. He works during catastrophes. Sometimes it is hard to remain focused on him and to learn what we can through the tragedies around us. But we do have a promise: “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t say that God causes all things to happen, but we can be assured that no matter how tragic events are, God will use them for the good of those who love Him.

I’ve seen this struggle this week with people in New Orleans. An article in the Crescent News read:

“Why did you do this to us?"

“Set down on dry land for the first time in three days, 83-year-old Camille Fletcher stumbled a few feet to a brick wall and collapsed. She and two of her children had made it through Hurricane Katrina alive, but her Glendalyn with the long, beautiful black hair was gone.”

“‘My precious daughter,’ she sobbed Wednesday. ‘I prayed to God to keep us safe in his loving care.’”

“Then, looking into an incongruously blue sky, she whimpered: ‘You’re supposed to be a loving God. You’re supposed to love us. And what have you done to us? Why did you do this to us?’”
I wish I could comfort all of us by saying that God didn’t cause Hurricane Katrina, but he might have. It isn’t outside of His track record. But I do know that whether He caused it or not really isn’t the issue. The issue is what does God want us to learn from this experience. How is God going to use us to work this tragedy or any tragedy for the good of those who love him? Paul didn’t say in Romans that God causes all things, but that God will use all things. We need to make sure we keep our eyes seeking God during all times, so that we don’t miss what we are to see.

Many of you have probably seen the movie Signs starring Mel Gibson.

On the surface the movie was about an alien invasion. But on a deeper level the movie was about how the catastrophes that happen in life actually happen to prepare us for the future. They are signs that we need to figure out how to discern.

I'm not the king of suffering, and I don’t mean to come across that way in the following story. It’s just that I think it is really relevant to the topic of today’s sermon, suffering yet continuing to seek God.

I'm going to do some healing today and share the story of my greatest catastrophe. It was the worst days of my life. Nothing so far compares, and I have a tough time figuring out what would.

I was at work. The phone rang. "Clem's Collectibles. This is Regan. How can I help you?" It was Dewitt Women's Health. Lindsay had an appointment with them that morning for her pregnancy. They told me to meet her at the hospital. That was all the information I received. My mind figured that one of our babies had died. She was pregnant with twins at the time. I walked out to the car and started to cry as I put my key in the ignition. I asked God, "Why? Why does this have to happen?" That was the first of many times that I repeated that question.

I drove across town and twenty minutes later I arrived at the hospital. My wife wasn't there. At this point I still had no idea what was going on. The hospital called Dewitt Women's Health. They had mistakenly told me the wrong instructions. I was supposed to have gone and picked Lindsay up and drive her to the hospital. I went back down to my car. Turned on the ignition and continued to cry. I headed towards the other side of the city of Lansing.

Twenty minutes later, I went in to Dewitt Women’s Health and gave Lindsay a big hug. I don't remember what was said. We proceeded to get in the car. We probably prayed together. We arrived at the hospital over an hour after I received that initial call.

All I remember from the hospital that night is the ultrasouond. That was the saddest moment of my life. All of the dreams we had of the future came crashing down. The death of a baby that isn't born isn't just a death of a life that hasn't taken its first breath of air; it's the death of every dream you have of the future. Each dream had to be thrown away and rebuilt. I was still clinging to hope at this point.

I sat in the corner of the semi-lit room. The floor was cold. The metal on my chair was cold. Everything seemed cold. Lindsay laid on her back. The ultrasound was out of her view, so she looked at me for confirmation that they might still be alive. At times I would just weep, more inside than out because I felt that I had to be strong. For about an hour the ultrasound technician took photos of the babies. She measured their heads, their hearts, everything. I kept praying in my dark, cold corner that God would heal them. I wanted to see them start moving. I wanted to see the heartbeats on the monitor. I wanted them to live so badly. I told God, "I will tell the whole world of this miracle if you would just give life back to them." They didn't move. Lindsay and I left that room broken and filled with more sadness than either of us have ever encountered in our lives.

They moved us to a room in the Women & Children’s section of the building. In that room, while we waited, we could hear the cry of newborns. The cry of newborns became a background noise that was bittersweet, way more bitter than sweet. We continued to hear them for the next few days. Those cries were a constant reminder of what we were losing.

I remember one conversation I had with a new father by the refrigerator that we were allowed to get snacks and drinks out of. He had no idea that I was going through hell while he was having one of the best moments of his life. "Isn't this great?” he said. I replied, "Sure is." I was short with him, but I also didn't want to ruin his day. I had no idea that someone in the next room could be giving birth to a still-born when we gave birth to Isaac. How close happiness and sorrow can be baffled me.

The hospital gave my wife a prescription for sleep medicine and we headed home. Our insurance didn't cover it. It was a long ordeal at Meijer. I remember running across a professor and his wife from college while we were waiting. He was comforting. We sat and waited in misery. We could've spent $3 for one pill, which is all we needed, but we had to spend $30 because the prescription was for 10.

Then we went home. We went to bed. I'm sure we held each other in bed and wept. The sleeping pill didn't work on Lindsay. I can't imagine what it is like to lay there in bed knowing that two lifeless babies rest inside of you, two babies you had dreams for and already loved. At some point during the night I awoke and joined Lindsay who couldn't sleep. We decided, out of desperation, to go get some oil and anoint Lindsay with it. We wanted a healing so desperately. We read Scriptures of healing and Jesus bringing back the dead. We prayed. It gave us hope that when we would go to the hospital the next day, the babies would be alive.

Some times I wonder if we should've had the church over to do that. Would things have been different? I've seen God do great things through the prayer of churches. I'll never know whether that would’ve changed anything, and I can't beat myself up for it. I think it is a good suggestion in the future for anyone dealing with something like this to include their church in prayer at the earliest possible moment. Maybe a miracle will happen. It’s a humbling experience, but it does seem to be one of the main reasons in Scripture for our gathering together. We would be more than willing to pray for anyone today, for any need.

The next day came. I think the sun barely rose. We asked for another ultrasound when we arrived at the hospital. They thought it was ridiculous since they confirmed the death of our babies the day before. However, the hospital staff will do anything for parents going through what we were going through to comfort them. They took us back up to the same cold ultrasound room.

After many tears and prayers, the screens confirmed the same findings as the night before. No heartbeat. No movement. They were dead.

We proceeded to a delivery room. We were placed in the same room that we were in after the birth of Isaac. It all seemed so ironic, so dreamy, so nightmary. They gave Lindsay pills to induce labor.

All I remember is waiting. Both sets of our parents arrived. It was hard on everyone. At times when we were alone, I remember climbing in bed and hugging her, weeping uncontrollably. We spent periods weeping. Sometimes it was only one of us. Sometimes it was both of us. Other times it was one of our parents. All the time we could hear the cries of newborns in the background.

The delivery doesn't stand out much in my head. It wasn't until the 2nd full day in the hospital that they arrived into this world. They were so small and they came out so easy. However, seeing them was sort of a blessing and a curse.

This might be disturbing to those who have never given birth to still-borns. I don't mean to disturb, but I'm sure if you have given birth to still-borns you can relate. We held them. We kissed them. We longed for them to be alive, to see their lungs move up and down with life. The hospital gave us a cute little basket to place them in. They sat there at the foot of the bed for a while.

The basket seemed like the basket Moses was placed in. Although our children were really taken, we had to reach the point where we were comfortable with giving them to God. At the risk of being a heretic, we baptized them. It wasn't for their salvation. It was just a crazy idea that I came up with that would be an outward sign to God that we were okay with him taking our babies. Our parents and Isaac joined us in the room as we sprinkled the babies and shared a prayer together. I wept while leading prayer. Everyone understood.

That followed with times of uncontrollable weeping. Life was dreary. We went home. The sadness didn't stay at the hospital, but we were covered with love. A local funeral home provided free cremation for our babies.

Isaac was a blessing throughout the whole experience. Without him, it would've been much tougher. Although, with him, we knew what we were missing by losing the twins.
I remember going back to work. I would just weep when nobody was in the store. I went back too soon. Life seemed like it would never get back to normal. Every dream we had was ripped apart. Our future needed to be reconstructed.

Some friends had given us flowers. Some sent us money. Others sent gift certificates to restaurants because they lived too far away to give us meals. Our church provided us with meals. Two guys from church drove all the way to the other side of town to pick up my car. It was a time of being loved. Something we desperately needed. We were blessed and so thankful, and still are, of the support that was shown us during that time. The saddest days of our lives sort of shine because of the love showered on us by friends and family.

We named our next boy, as many of you know, Elisha Zane. Elisha means "God is generous." Zane means "God's gracious gift." He is a blessing we wouldn't have if we hadn't lost the babies.

So what does this have to do with the movie Signs? Everything. In it, Mel Gibson's character wasn't over losing his wife and had to relearn how to have faith as a result of the catastrophic car wreck that took her from him. The boy had to live with asthma and didn't realize how that ailment would actually be his salvation. It's about reading the signs that God gives us, even when they are signs that are shown to us through suffering.

And what does this have to do with this sermon topic? Everything. It is in these times of catastrophe, whether they are personal like ours, or community-wide like a hurricane, we need to stay strong. God is working on us through the tragedy. We need to focus on learning what he wants us to. We need to be so used to hearing our shepherds voice that we can even hear it during storms.

A great Christian writer, Frederic Buechner, wrote:
“Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next.”
I don’t know if you watch Lost, but in one of the final episodes last year, Clare, who was really pregnant, was asked by John, the oldest guy of the people stranded on the island, to come help him work on something. She tried to get out if because she was pregnant, but John wouldn’t hear it. She eventually went and helped. John just had her hold pieces of wood as he sawed them. At the end of the show John shows Clare what they had been working on the whole time, a cradle that she had, unknowingly, helped him make.

God is an awful lot like John in Lost. He guides us just one step at a time, through peace and catastrophes. Sometimes we don’t even know where we are headed. Clare was pregnant and stranded on an island in the Pacific, yet she was still being taken care of. We sometimes feel we are in similar dire straits, stranded on the lonely island of our soul, and many times we don’t know what God is guiding us to, what good can come out of the terrible situation we are in. But we need to learn to always see God and follow him through our sufferings.

So, let us, whether in joy or sorrow, whether in the quiet of a prayer room, enjoying nature, in a gathering of believers, in a deep personal valley, or with a hurricane swirling around us, let us continue to listen to our shepherd guide us. Our job is to always remain faithful - to live out a life of faithfulness, and in the end, we will receive the blessing God has intended for us, and along the way we will receive many extra blessings. Let us all learn to be good sheep that are adept at hearing our shepherd’s voice even during the worst that the world throws at us. If we are willing, it is during those tragic times that we often grow the most.

Watch out for the potholes.

Listening to God in Catastrophe - What my heart has been reminded of watching New Orleans

My postings have been light this week because I am addicted to hurricane coverage and have been working on this sermon. My prayers go out to the people still trying to find some water to drink. If you're going to come on Sunday, you don't have to read.

***

This last week I went to the library with Isaac, Megan, Kendra, and Scott. While there I tried to find things to read. One magazine stood out. Last week’s Newsweek had a cover focusing on Spirituality in America. They had a survey in the article. One of the questions was “In which one of the following situations do you personally feel most connected with God or the divine?” 40 % answered “When they are praying alone or meditating.” 21% answered “When they are in nature.” Another 21% answered “When they are in a house of worship.” 6% answered “When they are praying with others.” 2% answered “When they are reading a sacred text.” Nobody answered with what today’s message is going to be on. But before I get there, let’s read a passage from John 10. Jesus is talking right after addressing the issue of spiritual blindness.

John 10:1-6
1 "Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good - a sheep rustler! 2 The shepherd walks right up to the gate. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. 5 They won't follow a stranger's voice but will scatter because they aren't used to the sound of it."
Jeremiah wrote in Jeremiah 7:23-24
23 But this command I gave them, "Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people; and walk only in the way that I command you, so that it may be well with you." 24 Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but, in the stubbornness of their evil will, they walked in their own counsels, and looked backward rather than forward.
In these two passages we have a contrast. In Jeremiah, we have a passage where the people of God stopped listening to Him and stopped being the people he intended for them to be.

On the other side, we have sheep who know their master so well that they recognize his voice. They follow him wherever he leads.

We seem to constantly forget that God is always at work on us. We oftentimes live as if we are sheep that enter or were born in our shepherd’s fenced in farm and aren’t taken out to the pasture any more. We deceive ourselves into thinking that conversion matters more than daily following. I think it is interesting to note that the story of the shepherd isn’t about us going into a safe fold –about the conversion-, but the story is about sheep who know their shepherd so well that they follow his voice wherever he leads.

Jesus is that shepherd. If not in your life, He wants to be. He is continually at work in our lives and around us. No matter what we believe. No matter where we are in life, Jesus is at work drawing us near to Him. We need to become more attuned to hearing his voice and seeing Him.

Ken Gire wrote in Windows of the Soul:

“We reach for God in many ways. Through our sculptures and our scriptures. Through our pictures and our prayers. Through our writing and our worship. And through them He reaches for us.

His search begins with something said. Ours begins with something heard. His begins with something shown. Ours, with something seen. Our search for God and His search for us meet at windows in our everyday experience.

These are the windows of the soul.

In a sense, it something like spiritual disciplines for the spiritually undisciplined. In another sense, it is the most rigorous of disciplines-the discipline of awareness. For we must always be looking and listening if we are to see the windows and hear what is being spoken to us through them.

But we must learn to look with more than just our eyes and listen with more than just our ears, for the sounds are sometimes faint and the sights sometimes far away. We must be aware, at all times and in all places, because windows are everywhere, and at any time we may find one.

Or one may find us. Though we will hardly know it…unless we are searching for Him who for so long has been searching for us.”


And this is the one of the greatest principles of Christianity – God is seeking us. He is our loving shepherd. He longs for us to follow him. Even during catastrophic events like the hurricane that hit the Gulf coast last week, God is still at work seeking us. Even during the catastrophic events we encounter in our personal lives, God is still at work seeking us. He is a loving shepherd always at work in our lives, whether through the rough or good times, trying to help us grow closer to Him.

Matthew 24
1 Jesus then left the Temple. As he walked away, his disciples pointed out how very impressive the Temple architecture was. 2 Jesus said, "You're not impressed by all this sheer size, are you? The truth of the matter is that there's not a stone in that building that is not going to end up in a pile of rubble." 3 Later as he was sitting on Mount Olives, his disciples approached and asked him, "Tell us, when are these things going to happen? What will be the sign of your coming, that the time's up?"
4 Jesus said, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. 5 Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities, claiming, 'I am Christ, the Messiah.' They will deceive a lot of people. 6 When reports come in of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history; this is no sign of the end. 7 Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Famines and earthquakes will occur in various places. 8 This is nothing compared to what is coming. 9 "They are going to throw you to the wolves and kill you, everyone hating you because you carry my name. 10 And then, going from bad to worse, it will be dog-eat-dog, everyone at each other's throat, everyone hating each other. 11 "In the confusion, lying preachers will come forward and deceive a lot of people. 12 For many others, the overwhelming spread of evil will do them in - nothing left of their love but a mound of ashes. 13 "Staying with it - that's what God requires. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry, and you'll be saved. 14 All during this time, the good news - the Message of the kingdom - will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country. And then the end will come.


Many like to focus on the end times, but most of us will more than likelyface an end time separate from one another.

I found most of the following story on msnbc.com.

A woman named Susan Torres was 15 weeks’ pregnant when she was hospitalized May 6 for a stroke caused by a melanoma that had spread to her brain. She was brain dead for the next three months, but her family kept Torres on life support in a race to save her baby even as cancer ravaged the young woman’s body.

By Tuesday, doctors said Torres’ health was deteriorating and that the risk of harm to the fetus finally outweighed the benefits of extending the pregnancy.

Later that day, doctors delivered the baby by Cesarean section.

Her husband, Jason Torres, had quit his job to be by his wife’s side during the ordeal, spending each night sleeping in a reclining chair next to her bed. The couple have one other child — 2-year-old Peter, who has been staying with his grandparents.

The family kept Susan alive long enough for the baby to grow old enough to be born. After the baby had been born and the mother had died, Jason, the widow and father, was on Good Morning, America. He said, “There’s no atheists in foxholes and there are no atheists in the ICU.”

In a different sort of story, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., who was awarded a Purple Heart in World War II, and is more known as a writer of such books as Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions, wrote in Hocus Pocus a conversation between the main character and a guy named Jack after going to a church service. The story goes:
“The sermon was based on what he (the preacher) claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, "There's a Chaplain who never visited the front."
If an atheist who served in foxholes believes that there are people in foxholes who still don’t believe in God and Jason Torres believes in his deepest foxhole that there are no atheist in foxholes, I am left with the impression, besides the fact that Jason Torres is sadly wrong, that when in the foxhole your true beliefs spring forth. There is no holding it back. It’s like a jack-in-box. We wind and wind and wind. We know that something is going to pop out at any time. We just don’t know when. Like a jack springs out of the box at any time, our true beliefs spring forth when confronted with unplanned catastrophe.

And it’s at these times of great catastrophe that God is at work in our lives. I don’t know if God prompted me to share this today because someone sitting here is going through a great catastrophe right now and he wants to tell you something. Or maybe we are just being prepared to keep our eyes focused on Him during an upcoming catastrophe. Or maybe I was just so struck by the catastrophe in New Orleans that I wanted to revisit what it means to focus on God during catastrophe. Whatever the case, I know that God is at work in catastrophes. During them, He wants us to keep focused on him.

Jesus says the end times will be marked by wars, rumors of wars, famines, and earthquakes. One of my favorite preachers has this to say on the subject. It’s a little lengthy, but I thought it’s appropriate to share here. And if you can guess who the speaker is before the end, I’ll give you a donut (as long as some are left in foyer) after church.

“I do not wish to force any one to believe as I do; neither will I permit anyone to deny me the right to believe that the last day is near at hand. These words and signs of Christ compel me to believe that such is the case. For the history of the centuries that have passed since the birth of Christ nowhere reveals conditions like those of the present. There has never been such building and planting in the world. There has never been such gluttonous and varied eating and drinking as now. Wearing apparel has reached its limit in costliness. Who has ever heard of such commerce as now encircles the earth? There have arisen all kinds of art and sculpture, embroidery and engraving, the like of which has not been seen during the whole Christian era.

In addition men are so delving into the mysteries of things that today a boy of twenty knows more than twenty doctors formerly knew. There is such a knowledge of languages and all manner of wisdom that it must be confessed, the world has reached such great heights in the things that pertain to the body, or as Christ calls them, ‘cares of life’, eating, drinking, building, planting, buying, selling, marrying and giving in marriage, that every one must see and say either ruin or a change must come. It is hard to see how a change can come. Day after day dawns and the same conditions remain. There was never such keenness, understanding, and judgment among Christians in bodily and temporal things as now-I forbear to speak of the new inventions, printing, firearms, and other implements of war.”


He goes on to talk about the spiritual depravity of the world. If it wasn’t for the “new inventions of the printing press and firearms, I would think that Martin Luther, who preached that in 1522, was talking about today. We sometimes get hung up on the end times, rather than focusing on God during events that appear like those that lead to the end times. However, the signs have filled the ages since Christ, and every age has thought their age to be the last. That doesn’t mean that ours isn’t, but it does seem to point out that we need to not focus on the end times but upon the God who brings about the signs. The signs are just that – signs. They are pointing to God, not the end. God is always at work in us, trying to mold us into who he intends us to be. The earthquakes, the wars, all of the great catastrophes of mankind should be seen as God prompting us to focus more on him.

Whatever your catastrophe is, God is trying to speak to you in that moment. We all will face our end time. Whether that end time is going to come before an accidental death or a death from old age isn’t that much a concern for me. What is a concern for me is whether I am prepared for my end time, whether that end time is the same as all of yours as in the End Times or whether it is something I will face lying in a hospital bed when I’m ninety doesn’t change a bit of my preparation for it. God is working on me day in and day out. He works on me when I’m sleeping. He works on me when I’m awake. He works on me during catastrophes. Sometimes it is hard to remain focused on him and to learn what we can through the tragedies around us. But we do have a promise: “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t say that God causes all things to happen, but we can be assured that no matter how tragic the things are, God will use them for the the good of those who love Him.

Many of you have probably seen the Mel Gibson movie Signs.

On the surface the movie was about an alien invasion. But on a deeper level the movie was about how the catastrophes that happen in life actually happen to prepare us for the future. They are signs that we need to figure out how to discern.

I'm not the king of suffering, and I’m don’t mean to come across that way in the following story. It’s just that I think it is really relevant to suffering and seeking God.

I'm going to do some healing today and share the story of my greatest catastrophe. It was the worst days of my life. Nothing so far compares, and I have a tough time figuring out what would.

I was at work. The phone rang. "Clem's Collectibles. This is Regan. How can I help you?" It was Dewitt Women's Health. Lindsay had an appointment with them that morning for her pregnancy. They told me to meet my wife at the hospital. That was all the information I received. My mind figured that one of our babies had died. She was pregnant with twins at the time. I walked out to the car and started to cry as I put my key in the ignition. I asked God, "Why? Why does this have to happen?" That was the first of many times that I repeated that question.

I drove across town and twenty minutes later I arrived at the hospital. My wife wasn't there. This was a bigger headache. At this point I still had no idea what was going on. The hospital called Dewitt Women's Health. They had told me the wrong instructions. I was supposed to have gone and picked Lindsay up and drive her to the hospital. I went back down to my car. Turned on the ignition and continued to cry. I headed towards the other side of the city of Lansing.

Twenty minutes later, I went in to Dewitt Women’s Health and gave Lindsay a big hug. I don't remember what was said. We proceeded to get in the car. We probably prayed together. We arrived at the hospital over an hour after I received that initial call.

All I remember from the hospital that night is the ultrasouond. That was the saddest moment of my life. All of the dreams we had of the future came crashing down. The death of a baby that isn't born isn't just a death of a life that hasn't taken its first breath of air; it's the death of every dream you have of the future. Each dream had to be thrown away and rebuilt. I was still clinging to hope at this point.

I sat in the corner of the semi-lit room. The floor was cold. The metal on my chair was cold. Everything seemed cold. Lindsay laid on her back. The ultrasound was out of her view, so she looked at me for confirmation that they might still be alive. At times I would just weep, more inside than out because I felt that I had to be strong for her. For about an hour the ultrasound technician took photos of the babies. She measured their heads, their hearts, everything. I kept praying in my dark, cold corner that God would heal them. I wanted to see them start moving. I wanted to see the heartbeats on the monitor. I wanted them to live so badly. I told God, "I will tell the whole world of this miracle if you would just give life back to them." They didn't move, so now, I guess, I tell the whole world of the lack of a miracle. Lindsay and I left that room broken and filled with more sadness than either of us have ever encountered in our lives.

They moved us to a room in the Women & Children’s section of the building. In that room, while we waited, we could hear the cry of newborns. The cry of newborns became a background noise that was bittersweet, way more bitter than sweet. We continued to hear them for the next few days. I wished that they would put people who give birth to still-borns in a sound proof room or in a different part of the hospital. Those cries were a constant reminder of what we were losing.

I remember one conversation I had with a new father by the refrigerator that we were allowed to get snacks and drinks out of. He had no idea that I was going through hell while he was having one of the best moments of his life. "Isn't this great?” he said. I replied, "Sure is." I was short with him, but I also didn't want to ruin his day. I had no idea that someone in the next room could be giving birth to a still-born when we gave birth to Isaac. How close joy and sorrow can be baffled me.

The hospital gave my wife a prescription for sleep medicine and we headed home. Our insurance didn't cover it. It was a long ordeal at Meijer. I remember running across a professor and his wife from college while we were waiting. He was comforting. We sat and waited in misery. We could've spent $3 for one pill, which is all we needed, but we had to spend $30 because the prescription was for 10 pills. Why would they prescribe us 10 pills when we just needed one is a topic for another day and probably not for a sermon?

Then we went home. We went to bed. I'm sure we held each other in bed and wept. The sleeping pill didn't work on Lindsay. I can't imagine what it is like to lay there in bed knowing that two lifeless babies rest inside of you, two babies you had dreams for and already loved. At some point during the night I awoke and joined Lindsay who couldn't sleep. We decided, out of desperation, to go get some oil and anoint Lindsay with it. We wanted a healing so desperately. We read Scriptures of healing and Jesus bringing back the dead. We prayed. It gave us hope that when we would go to the hospital the next day, the babies would be alive.

Some times I wonder if we should've had the church over to do that. Would things have been differently? I've seen God do great things through the church in Lansing. I'll never know whether that would’ve changed anything, and I can't beat myself up for it. I think it is a good suggestion in the future for anyone dealing with something like this to include their church in prayer at the earliest possible moment. Maybe a miracle will happen. We would be more than willing to pray for anyone today.

The next day came. I think the sun barely rose. We asked for another ultrasound when we arrived at the hospital. They thought it was ridiculous since they confirmed the death of our babies the day before. However, the hospital staff will do anything for parents going through what we were going through to comfort us. They took us back up to the same cold ultrasound room.

After many tears and prayers, the screens confirmed the same findings as the night before. No heartbeat. No movement. They were dead.

We proceeded to a delivery room. We were placed in the same room that we were in after the birth of Isaac. It all seemed so ironic, so dreamy, so nightmary. They gave Lindsay pills and a drip to induce labor. They can use much stronger medicine and when they don't have to worry about the life of the baby.

All I remember is waiting. Both sets of our parents visited. It was hard on everyone. At times when we were alone, I remember climbing in bed and hugging her, weeping uncontrollably. We spent periods weeping. Sometimes it was only one of us. Sometimes it was both of us. Other times it was one of our parents. All the time we could hear the cries of newborns in the background.

The delivery doesn't stand out much in my head. It wasn't until the 2nd full day in the hospital that they arrived into this world. They were so small and they came out so easy. However, seeing them was sort of a blessing and a curse.

This might be disturbing to those who have never given birth to still-borns. We don't mean to disturb, but I'm sure if you have given birth to still-borns you can relate. We held them. We kissed them. We longed for them to be alive, to see their lungs move up and down with life. The hospital gave us a cute little basket to place them in. They sat there at the foot of the bed for a while.

The basket seemed like the basket Moses was placed in. Although our children were really taken, we had to reach the point where we were comfortable with giving them to God. At the risk of being a heretic, we baptized them. It wasn't for their salvation. It was just a crazy idea that I came up with that would be an outward sign to God that we were okay with him taking our babies. Our parents and Isaac joined us in the room as we sprinkled the babies and shared a prayer together. I wept while leading prayer. Everyone understood.

That followed with times of uncontrollable weeping. Life was dreary. We went home. The sadness didn't stay at the hospital, but we were covered with love. A local funeral home provided free cremation for our babies.

Isaac was a blessing throughout the whole experience. Without him, it would've been much tougher. Although, with him, we knew what we were missing by losing the twins.
I remember going back to work. I would just weep when nobody was in the store. I went back too soon. Life seemed like it would never get back to normal. Every dream we had was ripped apart. Our future needed to be reconstructed.

Some friends had given us flowers. Some sent us money. Others sent gift certificates to restaurants. Our church provided us with meals. Two guys from church drove all the way to the other side of town to pick up my car. It was a time of being loved. Something we desperately needed. We were so thankful, and still are, of the support that was shown us during that time. The saddest days of our lives sort of shine because of the love showered on us by friends and family.

We named our next boy, as many of you know, Elisha Zane. Elisha means "God is generous." Zane means "God's gracious gift." He is a blessing we wouldn't have if we hadn't lost the babies.

So what does this have to do with the movie Signs? Everything. In it, Mel Gibson's character wasn't over losing his wife and had to relearn how to have faith as a result of the catastrophic car wreck that took her from him.. The boy had to live with asthma and didn't realize how that ailment would actually be his salvation. It's about reading the signs that God gives us, even when they are signs that are shown to us through suffering.

And what does this have to do with this sermon topic? Everything. It is in these times of catastrophe, whether they are personal like ours, or public like a hurricane, that we need to stay strong. God is working on us through the tragedy. We need to focus on learning what he wants us to. We need to be so used to hearing our shepherds voice that we can even hear it during catastrophes.

A great Christian writer, Frederic Buechner, wrote
“Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next.”
I don’t know if you watch Lost, but in one of the final episodes last year, Clare, who was really pregnant, was asked by John, the oldest guy of the people stranded on the island, to come help him work on something. She tried to get out if because she was pregnant, but John wouldn’t hear it. She eventually went and helped. John just had her hold pieces of wood as he sawed them. At the end of the show John shows Clare what they had been working on the whole time, a cradle that she had, unknowingly, helped him make.

God is an awful lot like John in Lost. He guides us just one step at a time, through peace and catastrophes. Sometimes we don’t even know where we are headed. Clare was pregnant and stranded on an island in the Pacific, yet she was still being taken care of. We sometimes feel we are in similar dire straits stranded on the lonely island of our soul, and many times we don’t know what God is guiding us to, what good can come out of the terrible situation we are in. But we can be sure that God is constantly guiding us, even through our sufferings.

So, let us, whether in joy or sorrow, whether in the quiet of a prayer room, enjoying nature, in a gathering of believers, in a deep personal valley, or with a hurricane swirling around us, let us continue to listen to our shepherd guide us. Our job is to always remain faithful - to live out a life of faithfulness, and in the end, we will receive the blessing God has intended for us, and we will receive many blessings along the way. Let us all learn to be good sheep that are adept at hearing our shepherd’s voice even during the worst that the world throws at us. If we are willing, it is during those tragic times that we often grow the most.

Watch out for the potholes