We have been dealing with Eli and a monster he calls Takeaway. Takeaway wants to take him away, hence the name, and eat him. He especially scares Eli in the middle of the night when he wakes up to go to the bathroom. Last week, it reached its peak when Eli ran back to the stairway, started holding the door shut, and was yelling for us to come help him with Takeaway. He was very adamant that Takeaway was down there.
I came up with a great plan to deal with Takeaway. I would get a bunch of blood makeup, the kind used at Halloween, and make it look like I got in a knockdown, drag out fight with Takeaway. Then I would tell Eli that I killed Takeaway and he would not be coming back.
The night came. I put all of the makeup on, but I got too wrapped up in the moment. I then ran upstairs, turned on Eli's light so he could see the blood all over me, and screamed at the top of my lungs, "Run, Eli, Run! Takeaway is coming to get you." The I ran around the house like a madman.
Now you might think that is overly mean, but fear is a good thing. And let me tell you, Eli was scared. But it will make him stronger.
In order to keep him strong, I make sure that I call home from work and talk in a mean, demonic voice to Eli as if I am Takeaway. I usually say something along the lines of, "Hi Eli. This is Takeaway and I am going to get you tonight." Kids are just so entertaining.
Needless to say, all of the preceding except the first paragraph is made up. After much prayer, Eli has been saying that Takeaway is no longer around. What made the situation a little scarier, at least to me, is that my research revealed that there is a demon in African mythology named Abiku. They are "Ravenous demons who are partial to children – either as a takeaway snack or to stay inside for extra portions. They can be driven away by the ringing of bells." I prefer prayer to bells. We figure God can stop any silly Abiku or, more likely, just a child's overactive imagination.
