This is the sermon I will be preaching this Sunday. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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I would be remiss to start a Mother’s Day sermon without first recognizing all the mothers here. I’ve been blessed to spend my life around loving mothers. First, my own mom. And now, I see it in my wife, Lindsay, every day as she helps raise our children. I have a hard time matching the self-sacrifice and love that a good mother like my mom, Lindsay, and probably most of the mothers here show to their children. The world is definitely a better place because of good mothers. Mother’s are worth setting aside a day of recognition like today. They deserve more than one day a year for all their work. But I think if we gave them the day off too often, the world might start turning out worse than it already is. When my wife isn’t around for a day, things get destroyed, fall apart, and food gets burnt. We definitely need good mothers.
Good mothering is actual something that seems to be under attack in our culture. Teri Hatcher, one of the stars of Desperate Housewives and Lois Lane in the 90s Superman television show, just wrote a book entitled Burnt Toast. She has been making her rounds on all of the normal daytime television shows promoting this book. On Monday, I saw her on Regis and Kelly. It intrigued me to see what she had to say. I found this excerpt in her book:
“Up 'til now, I ate the burnt toast. I learned that from my mother — metaphorically if not literally. I can't actually remember if she even likes toast or how she eats it. But what I know for sure is that although she was a loving and devoted wife and mother, she always took care of everyone and everything else before herself. This habitual self-sacrifice was well intended, but ultimately it's a mixed message for a child. It taught me that in order for me to succeed, someone else had to suffer. I learned to accept whatever was in front of me without complaint because I didn't think I deserved good things.”
Sadly, this quote isn’t unusual. You can find the selfish “put yourself first” teaching in many books on parenting (especially mothering) and living in general. Although well intentioned, it seems that Ms. Hatcher is a little misguided. Like most in our culture, she ultimately views self-sacrifice as a negative thing. What she learned from her mother’s self-sacrifice was that she didn’t “deserve good things”. She misunderstood the message her mom was sharing through her sacrifice. Self-sacrifice isn’t about not deserving the good things in life. It might mean you get second best, not because you deserve second best but because you surrender the best, out of love, despite the fact that you deserve it.
If I have guests over for dinner, grill burgers, and accidentally overcook (that’s the polite way of saying burn) a few, I hide them under the properly cooked burgers and eat those instead of my guests. It isn’t that I deserve less than them. I’m actually the one that bought the burgers and cooked them. I deserve the best. But I want them to have the best because they are my guests.
But it’s easy to surrender when it comes to one meal with guests. It’s much more difficult to surrender to my co-workers or my family. When surrender has to happen on a daily basis it seems to become a Herculean challenge. A moment of surrender here and there is normal even for people that don’t know Jesus. A lifestyle of surrender, that to which Jesus set an example of, is much more difficult to attain. If you struggle with self-surrender, you aren’t alone.
We see a group of people struggle with this very thing in a conversation with Jesus. If you have your Bible with you, we will be reading from Matthew 20, starting at verse 20. Before we read it, I want to help us visualize the setting. The twelve disciples of Christ have been following Jesus around for three years. Three of them, the two brothers - James and John - and Peter, have been set aside as being part of the inner circle. They are also filled with anticipation. Here they are, on the verge of the moment they have been waiting for. They are going to Jerusalem, and Jesus is going to establish the kingdom they have been waiting for. But they are also probably a little worried. Just before what we’re going to read today, Jesus shared the story of the business owner who paid the workers who arrived late in the day the same as the worker who had worked all day long. Here are the twelve. They are workers who have worked all day. They’ve been with Jesus from the beginning. They deserve to be high ranking officials in the kingdom to come, but Jesus just shared that disturbing story that people who join late in the day will receive the same wages. I can imagine some of the fears I would be having if I was one of the twelve. “I was just a fisherman. I’m not as well educated as some that are going to come along and work for Jesus in His kingdom. I’m not as charismatic as others. There are some out there who are going to follow Jesus that are all-around better qualified to be higher-ups in Jesus’ kingdom than I am.” It is in such a situation that could create these fears, that the following story takes place. On the verge of Jesus and the twelve going to Jerusalem to establish the kingdom the following conversation takes place.
Matthew 20:20-28
20:20 Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus with her sons, bowing down and making a request of Him. And He said to her, "What do you wish?" She said to Him, "Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit one on Your right and one on Your left." But Jesus answered, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?" They said to Him, "We are able." He said to them, "My cup you shall drink; but to sit on My right and on My left, this is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father."
20:24 And hearing this, the ten became indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."
In the twelve, we see normal people – people like you and me - people who still cling on to their own selfish desires at times and their own ambitions despite the fact that they have followed Christ for years. At this point in their journey, they have yet to reach the point of complete and total surrender.
We also see a loving mother who is concerned about the success of her children, which is a very noble concern, yet one that is just another form of selfishness when a mother’s idea of success is not the same as Jesus’. She is probably concerned about the well-being of her children. It isn’t unlike a mother to try and insure that her children are financially stable. It also isn’t unlike a mother to help her children acquire a position of respect. Financial stability and respect are two things that all mothers would like for their children, but sometimes those don’t go hand in hand with people being faithful to the call of God on their life. There is nothing wrong with having those things, but they don’t necessarily equate to being a faithful follower of Jesus. They are a blessing if you have them, but they are not a requirement of faith nor should they ever be a measurement of faith. Sadly, we seem to get caught up in the rat-race more often than not and find ourselves striving for the things of this world rather than the things of the kingdom of God. We strive for financial stability, respect, or whatever our worldly hang-ups might be. We are not alone in losing sight of the right goal. James, John, and their mother were in that same boat when they asked to be placed in the top positions of leadership next to Jesus.
As Christian parents and as people of the faith, we need allow our view of success to not be defined by the world but allow our view of success to be defined by Christ. So how did Jesus answer their plea to have their position in leadership solidified? With another question: “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?”
At this point, they probably didn’t understand the severity of drinking the cup that Jesus would drink. For Christ’s cup wasn’t a cup of worldy success or respect; it was a cup of suffering. I’m reminded of the cup in the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indiana Jones finally made the long and arduous journey to the room filled with all of the cups in his quest for the Holy Grail. Only one of which was the sacred cup. All the others would lead to death. There were beautiful golden goblets embedded with fine jewels. All sorts of cups that could dazzle the eye. But among all of the ornate cups, Indiana Jones chose the one that was common, worn, and old. It was a cup that wouldn’t cause anyone to give it a second look; however, this ordinary cup was the one that brought life. It is that way with Jesus’ cup of suffering. The world will try to get us to start drinking out of all sorts of cups, cups that are much, much more appealing. But if we are to share a cup with Jesus, the cup we must drink out of is the cup of suffering.
We remember this every week through the Lord’s Supper. That act of grace should serve as a reminder that joining Jesus in His suffering is central to the faith.
The apostles still misunderstood the kingdom that Jesus came to establish. They thought they would be princes in a reestablished kingdom of Israel. Little did they know that one of the keys to success in the kingdom of Jesus was sacrifice. Christ didn’t come to reestablish a traditional earthly kingdom as everyone at that time knew it. He came to start an upside-down kingdom, a kingdom different than any our world had seen before. This would be a kingdom without boundaries, a kingdom with different rules for its leaders, a kingdom that would last from that time to today.
If we allow Jesus to define our idea of success, then we will have to allow suffering to play a role in our definition. The life of Christ and his followers wasn’t filled stability, respect, and glamour, nor should we expect ours to be. We see throughout the New Testament examples of faithful followers suffering for Christ. Paul implores in his letter to Timothy, “Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” We see that James and John, the two who asked to be exalted here, eventually did drink of the cup of suffering. James was executed in Acts 12:2 by Herod. And John was placed in exile from where he wrote the book of Revelation. We have to be willing to drink the cup that Jesus drank, suffer the greatest of all losses for Christ in order to be in His kingdom.
To be a Christian means to sacrifice one’s whole life. Our sacrifice in our culture will more than likely not lead to death, but we will have to daily completely surrender every aspect of our life to God’s will. Jesus doesn’t define our success in the way the world does. He defines it by suffering.
Jesus also brings up another point in verse 23 when answering their request to be exalted into leadership: “To sit on My right and on My left, this is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.” To be a person that is in leadership in the kingdom of God, we must be people that are willing to drink of the cup of suffering along with Christ. Leadership in His kingdom, is not something we can force our way into. We can’t give a good interview and expect to get the position just because we like the benefit package. That doesn’t work when the person doing the hiring can see our hearts. We might be able to put on a good show for those around us, but God sees through our masks and looks into our souls.
James and John were trying to force their way into positions of leadership in the kingdom. But these positions are only opened to those that live the life that God has designed. One of the main criteria to being able to fill a position of leadership in the kingdom is to share with Christ in drinking from the cup of suffering.
The idea of willful suffering remains in conflict with our natural ambitions. And it is when we let our natural ambitions enter into our life that we begin to cause division. We see this happen in this passage. In verse 24 we read, “And hearing this, the ten became indignant with the two brothers.” The ambition of the two brothers caused the others to become indignant. Why would they become indignant except for the fact that they also wished to be the ones exalted in the kingdom.
Lives, families, churches, workplaces, communities, and nations fall apart when people stop striving to bring about the will of God and start looking out for their own ambition. One person’s ambition wakes up another’s ambition and soon we have an ambitious free-for-all.
Ambition goes against the spirit of unity and love that Jesus desired in his followers. A great church writer wrote, “Proper and holy zeal is often accompanied by ambition, or some other vice of the flesh, so that they who follow Christ have a different object in view from what they ought to have.” Ambition places some other object above the will of God.
Jesus said, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)
In Jesus’ long prayer of intercession recorded in John 17, Jesus prayed, “I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word (that would be us); that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.”
In both passages, Jesus points out that unity among his followers played a role in the world believing in Him. Jesus desires unity, and we see that the actions of James, John, and his mother began to the core group to become fragmented. Jesus, noticing this situation took the others aside and said: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.”
Here we learn how to deal with schisms between brothers and sisters in Christ. Schisms in the church, if not dealt with, will become obstacles to people coming to know God. It is so simple of a teaching, yet it is so difficult to live out. Jesus uses two specific words to describe what we are to be, a servant and a slave. He could’ve used a variety of words, but he chose those two specific words to express the point he wanted to get a cross. Words that he didn’t use express serving people because we respect them, serving others for our own benefit through the form of wages or some other gain, serving out of religious obligation, or serving to bring about a change in people. He didn’t choose any of those words. He chose “servant” and “slave”.
The word used for “servant” here signifies personal service from one to another coming from a heart of love towards the one being served. It isn’t an impersonal service like we get from a normal waiter or waitress or a customer service representative. It is personal like that of Alfred to Bruce Wayne. It is service with familiarity stemming from love.
Part of me wishes that is where Jesus’ teaching stopped. Being a servant is much easier than being a “slave”, yet that is what Jesus says his followers must be if they want to be exalted in His kingdom. A “slave” is someone who subjects his will to another. A good slave no longer worries about his own desires, but fills his time meeting the desires of his master.
When studying this passage, I thought that I could be a servant and slave to Jesus. That’s no problem. Jesus’ will is always right. But then it struck me. He doesn’t tell us to be a servant and slave to Him. He tells us to be that to one another. “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.” As a Christian, I’m supposed to love people in such a way that I serve them. Above and beyond that, I’m supposed to love people so much that I no longer look out for my own desires but live my life subjecting my will to the will of others.
This brings us back full circle to the beginning of this section of Scripture. These are some tough teachings. I would like to share a gospel where you can just say a prayer or be baptized and have a life that is right with God. But Jesus requires total surrender. No impure motivation will lead to self-sacrifice. He requires us to be prepared to drink of His cup of suffering. And if we’re willing to go that far, then we will also be willing to be servants and slaves to one another, which will result in us having the unity that Christ prayed we would have. We have too big of a task to bicker among ourselves about lesser matters. We need unity. And we get that by living out the advice that He gave His fragmented followers. The world rules, we, as Christians, serve.
Jesus’ teaching on leadership is completely different than the world’s. It was in his time and it is still in ours. In his time “the natural man – and especially the Greek – would see no difficulty in answering the question of who is greater, the one who serves or the one who is served.” They would quickly say that it was obvious that the one who is served is greater. You can pick up almost book in business and, sadly, church leadership and find the same answer implied. It would be almost impossible to find sections in any book on leadership focused on suffering, servanthood, and slavery. If we were to sit down and come up with a list of what makes a good leader, I doubt any of those three would be on there. We look for charisma, great public speaking, administrative skills, good looks, and a great network of connections. But Jesus’ teachings here show us that the prevalent thought of his time, the books and prevalent thoughts of our time, and our expectations are wrong. He gives us a different way to look at the world and leadership.
“Self-importance, the desire to be noticed and respected, the ambition to make one’s mark and to impose one’s will on others, this is the value scale of the rat-race, not of the kingdom of Christ.” We would like to confine the radical teachings of Jesus to our spiritual life, so that we can live a normal, reasonable life outside of church and devotional life. But that just cannot be so. Christ’s upside-down kingdom isn’t just supposed to be confined within these walls or the walls of our prayer rooms. His kingdom peers through the barrier of our reality every time we act out His will. So when we’re at work, we bring about Christ kingdom by being a slave to our boss. Or if we’re in management, we bring about Christ’s kingdom by being a slave to our workers. Or if we’re a mother, we bring about the kingdom by becoming a slave to our children. Or if we’re part of the body of Christ, we bring about the kingdom by becoming slaves one to another. Whatever role we find ourselves in, we bring about the kingdom by becoming a servant and a slave to those we are in relationships with.
This seems too radical. I really have trouble hearing it and living it. But Jesus didn’t start a revolution that still is changing the world today by sticking to the status quo. He came to earth to show us how to live and live life to the full. That wouldn’t have been necessary if humanity were already living the way we should. Sadly, it is still as radical today as it was when Jesus shared these words with the twelve. We are like them in so many ways.
Matthew 20:28 ends with this thought: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Jesus did not just sit in an office or a classroom and give us tough teachings on how to live our life. He backed up His teachings by living them. He went as far as to give His life away for the sake of us and all of humanity. And he left us with the teaching to do the same. We are to be willing to share in drinking His cup of suffering and become servants and slaves to one another, like He did for us. The form of our suffering and service will be different than his, but its motivation must be the same. If we do that, we will find that we have the unity that Jesus prayed His followers would have. And in having that unity that can only come through the grace of God, we will change ourselves, our families, our workplaces, our church, and our communities.
What we’ve seen in this passage is a job interview of sorts. James and John want the position of being the Vice-President and Secretary of State in Jesus’ kingdom. They came in with their resume that included three years of training as being part of His inner circle. They had the “look at what we have done for you” mentality, but that didn’t impress Jesus. Jesus asked them, “Are you willing to suffer like I am going to suffer?” “Are you willing to serve and become a slave to others?” Only in an upside-down kingdom will the people at the top be expected to suffer and be a slave. Welcome to the Kingdom of God!
So in answer to Teri Hatcher’s quote from Burnt Toast earlier. The quote that read: “Up 'til now, I ate the burnt toast. I learned that from my mother — metaphorically if not literally. I can't actually remember if she even likes toast or how she eats it. But what I know for sure is that although she was a loving and devoted wife and mother, she always took care of everyone and everything else before herself. This habitual self-sacrifice was well intended, but ultimately it's a mixed message for a child. It taught me that in order for me to succeed, someone else had to suffer. I learned to accept whatever was in front of me without complaint because I didn't think I deserved good things.”
I would say to be a truly great mother or a truly great person in any area of life, eat the burnt toast. Strive to make self-sacrifice habitual like it was to Ms. Hatcher’s mother. Ms. Hatcher said that her mother’s self-sacrifice taught her that for her to succeed someone else had to suffer. That couldn’t be more true. For any of us to truly succeed, Christ did have to suffer. And through his suffering and life of service to others, we see how we are to live our lives. We deserve the best! But because of Christ’s example, we are willing to joyfully give the best to others so that they might also be a part of His kingdom.
Watch out for the potholes.
