We often confuse contentment with complacency. Random House says that complacency is “a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.” Biblical contentment is being “sufficient for oneself; independent of external circumstances; contented with one’s lot, with one’s means, though the slenderest.”
Paul wrote, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Contentment is not the opposite of drive. True spiritual contentment will not cause us to be complacent; it will actually be a catalyst to spur us forward.
Pastor Shannon O’Dell recently wrote Transforming Church in Rural America. In it, he states that “Leadership is resisting the urge to settle.” It would be good to broaden that a little bit and say that “Living is resisting the urge to settle.” When we are content, that shapes us into believing that we can do all things through Jesus who strengthens us. That will truly free us to live.
When we allow success, appearance, some activity, or happiness to be the gauge of our inner peace, then we will never have contentment and will never be able to accomplish anything of any significance because we will be too cowardly and afraid.
We need to understand that which Joseph understood at the end of the book of Genesis. We are left with this thought:
‘As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” [Genesis 50:20 (ESV)].
When you feel that you have hit rock bottom, realize that God will use this for good. If Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers, imprisoned, and had to endure captivity before seeing better days, could recognize that good came from the bad, then we need to keep that in focus when we are going through our valleys. This pit will eventually be good for us; we just don't have that full perspective yet.
I once heard the story of a man who was contemplating committing suicide. But instead of killing himself, he decided to smuggle Bibles into China. If he was caught and killed, that would be fine with him. But instead, through the process, he found meaning in his life.
I don’t know if that story is true or not, but it illustrates the point that we truly live when we die to ourselves and begin to live our lives for Jesus. We can get out of the situation we find ourselves in, but you are the only person who can pick up the shards of your dreams and go with them into the future. You are the only one that can surrender your will to God’s will. You are the only one that can say, “I will look for what God wants me to learn in every situation.” In that, you will find true contentment and meaning in life.
Colin Powell once said, “'If it ain't broke, don't fix it' is the slogan of the complacent, the arrogant or the scared. It's an excuse for inaction, a call to non-arms.” Our society must be filled with the complacent, the arrogant, and the scared because we have lost the ability to look our problems in the face and change.
We must learn to be bold, brave, and daring in this culture that preaches moderation. This is the cautious culture that we have to raise our children or grandchildren up to be adventurous in. The world’s going to want them to step in line, just like it wants us to step in line, but we have to be willing to follow God wherever He leads, even when it is out of line and off the beaten path.
We each have value as children of God. We can lose our jobs and still have value. We do not have to make as much as our neighbor or our spouse to have worth. We do not have to be the best athlete, the best in our field, or have the most athletic children to be exceptional. We should never base our self-esteem on anything other than our relationship with Jesus. That’s crazy talk in our world of pride, scorn toward failure, self-help, and independence.
But it’s the talk of the Apostle Paul. “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” This contentment that Paul tells us that he has, the contentment that is available to all of us through Jesus, will last through any storms. It is independent of any physical situation.
There are two types of people. There are those who let life beat them up, have given up, and just coast through life. Then there are those who give life their all. They are willing to quit their jobs and go start a business, move to another country to achieve their dreams in starting a farm, or to make the sacrifice to go back to school and better themselves. They take life by the horns rather than letting life stampede over them and gore them.
Richard Branson is one of those who has taken life by the horns. He’s the founder of Virgin Records, Virgin Airlines, Virgin Galactic, and 400 other companies – all of this was started with a record mail order business in 1970. He had this to say about failure in an interview with Seth Godin.
“Do everything you can to survive and not give up. As long as you try everything you can, if you fail, you will sleep okay, you will pick yourself up. When things are better, you will learn from your mistakes and start again. If, on the other hand, you give up too readily, you will forever kick yourself.”
“Don’t take failure too seriously…You should realize that it is an important to just learn from it and come back and start again. An awful lot of really big multi-millionaires and billionaires have been through two or three bankrupt companies in their lives, have learned from them, and come back stronger.”
“Don’t be embarrassed about your failures as long as you have tried everything you can to avoid it. Don’t take it too personally.”
So we keep trying new things. If we are on our way to failure and keep trying the same old things, failure will most assuredly come. But we can always change and try something new.
Each of us must be failing if we are to succeed. When was the last time you failed? If it’s been a while, then you have stopped living. We can either have two approaches in life – coasting through life or living through life. Coasting is to only try things that are guaranteed and never risk anything. In this approach we will never truly live or accomplish anything. The other is to take on the attitude of Paul, to be content, and rest assured in the saying, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” It’s that mentality that will enable us to make a difference.
Our society’s approach to failure is comical. I don’t care if it is business, personal lives, or politics; everything has to be spun as if it were a success. As soon as something bad happens, the talking heads start spinning it as an astounding achievement for whatever group they are associated with. Nothing is ever negative.
As individuals, we, like the political and other figures of our day, have this tendency to declare everything we do a success. We want to hide mistakes and failures. But what does this do to our growth if we actually grow more in our failures than in our successes? What are we turning ourselves into if we try to isolate ourselves from failure or deceive ourselves from really facing our failures?
Martin Luther, during the Protestant reformation, was influential in taking education out of the realm of the church and into the hands of the state. Dr. Marilyn Harran notes that by doing this, “Luther allowed both teacher and student to rejoice in learning and to permit mistakes and even failure without undermining a person’s value and importance.” In order to be content and have a healthy self-esteem, we must separate our worldly success from our inner peace.
We live in a culture where we attack failure so harshly that people become afraid to act because they are afraid to fail.
Unfortunately, this can happen in a church. It often seems like church leaders are like clay pigeons at a shooting range. As long as they are not doing anything, maintaining the status quo, and not rocking the boat, they are safe. But as soon as they start to move, the gunfire ensues and attempts to blow them to pieces. A healthy church is just the opposite; it is a place where people can be creative about ministries, attempt different things, and have people there to support them and encourage them when they fail. Every leader of every ministry in any church will fail at times. I will deliver some bad sermons. We’ll attempt some outreach programs that won’t click. The worship will be a distraction some times and not conducive to us worshipping God. Some children’s programs will be too chaotic and not gel. Every ministry will have failures, but a healthy church is a place where it is safe to fail. Instead of attacking and tearing down leaders in your church when they fail, be a place that builds up and encourage when people stumble.
A healthy family is like that healthy church. It’s one where everyone is a pillar of support under each other to propel one another toward their dreams: A place where children can try new things and have people there to support them and encourage them when they fail. And a healthy church and a healthy family must be made up of healthy individuals who feel free to try different things and know they will be valued and supported when they fail. Because if we are honest with ourselves, failing is something we do an awful lot if we are actually trying to grow.
It’s excruciating to watch kids learn to ride a bike. It’s rare to have that kid who can just pick up a bike and start riding. They fall and hurt themselves, but the adults around them encourage them to get back on and try again. The adults don’t yell at the children and scream, “You suck! Why are you always falling you stupid idiot!?” The kids are already telling themselves that in their head and sometimes even out lout. What they need is encouragement because the goal is to get that kid riding his or her bike. Eventually, through the pain and suffering, they can ride the bike and feel a sense of accomplishment.
The safest way to never fail is to never try something new or different. We all know picky eaters who will not try new food. I am not one of them. It doesn’t mean I will like everything I try, but it does mean I will taste it. Being a picky eater does have its benefits. It means that they will only eat what they like and not have to taste food that they dislike. I have experienced some disgusting tastes in my life when I have tried different foods. Not having those bad tastes does sound like a good thing, but it also means that I would not be able to discover what would possibly be my new favorite food. We miss out when we don’t try.
May we not let our failures define who we are. May we continue to learn through every situation and grow into who God wants us to be.
Behavioral Science is the study of human behavior and what influences people to make the decisions they make. By understanding what makes people decide how they use their resources and what they do with their time, politicians, economists, marketing experts and their cohorts develop theories which translate into practices to try and mold us into what they want us to be. People usually make decisions based on three prevailing thoughts.
1. Will it help me in the present? We want instant gratification. A better future at the cost of the present is not worth a less comfortable present for a better future.
2.What is the chance of failure or have I experienced failure trying it in the past? Failures outweigh success and prevent many from moving.
3.Will it mean that I have to change? If I have to change, I don’t want to do it.
These prevailing thoughts that typically shape our decision making will cause us to make decisions that will inevitably lead to stagnation and death. And our natural tendencies will be exploited by those who want us to be what they want us to be.
When we make decisions, we need to not ask, “Will it help me in the present? What is the chance of failure? Or will it mean that I have to change?” Instead of letting our human tendencies dictate our decisions, what we need to ask is, “What does God want me to do?” God plans long-term, and sometimes his plan might not coincide with the worldly view of success. I might have to sacrifice today to be who he wants me to be tomorrow to bring about the changes that he wants to bring about. I need to realize that success is intimacy with God rather than bigger toys or more entertainment, although we might be blessed with those things. But we must realize that success will come with failures. We will have setbacks. And to continue to grow into the person that God wants, change is inevitable. We cannot be more of who he wants us to be and remain who we are. Those who do not continue to change their lives are on the way to spiritual death. We are either growing or dying. Life is about consistent change. And God is a God of change.
The Bible is a book of changes. In reading it, we get front row seats to see God attempt to shape people, nations, and churches into who he wants them to be. We see faithful people who follow him. We see villains who refuse his guidance only to follow their own desires. The truly faithful discarded the concerns of the moment, their worries about failure, and the human tendency to be hesitant about change, so that they could become who God wanted them to be.