The Church: A Collection Of Misfits and Outcasts

Up until a few years ago, only the geekiest comic book lovers like myself had heard of the "Guardians of the Galaxy." I sat through the original and thought, “This is the geekiest film America has ever loved.” It went on to be the number #1 grossing movie in 2014. Even those of you who have never read a comic book are somewhat familiar with Batman, Superman, the Avengers, and Captain America. But the Guardians, well they were the ignored heroes of the comic world with only a cult, geek following…until the movie. Friday, their sequel released.

The movie tells the story of this rag tag group of beings who must band together in order to save the universe. None of them had grandiose aspirations to be saviors. As the video showed, they were mostly outlaws. The galaxy had written them off as lost, as a burden, as common criminals. But these five lost and broken misfits found each other, and they found a mission larger than themselves that required them to come together to accomplish something bigger than their selfish endeavors.

You look at the Avengers, and Iron Man, and Captain America, and they are more or less clean cut, have it all together, know what they are about. That doesn't describe many of us, does it? We may put on a good front for each other, but the reality is that we struggle, we fail, sometimes we barely hold it together.

And that's okay. I want to get this out there right now, and keep coming back to it throughout this message. If you feel like a failure, if you feel like life is always a struggle, if you feel like you have been written off by society, by family, by whatever, it's okay. Because that is not the end of your story. God has more in store for you. You have a purpose—even if you feel like a misfit.

Because the message of the gospel centers around this joyous premise—God accepts and uses outcasts. Listen to what Paul says about you, and me, and the person sitting next to you:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;  God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,  so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.  And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,  so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (ESV)

The early church was not made up of super heroes. According to Paul, they weren't the best and the brightest. They weren't Captain Americas, Iron Man, or Wonder Woman. And that's exactly how God wanted it. If you were a somebody you became part of the Roman worship cults. You paid your membership dues, you received your status and your special perks. But most of the people couldn't afford that. Couldn't be a part of that. And that's helped the church to explode in the first century. It was a place for the outcasts of society. For the not good enoughs. For people who were willing to surrender to Jesus together, become a family despite not sharing blood, and carry each other along in this life when the need arose.  

If I was going to assemble a team whose purpose it was to change the world, I would not have chosen the disciples. The disciples were misfits too. Their choosing by Jesus goes against every leadership book you can find. They say things like, "Surround yourself with solid, capable leaders." But Jesus did the opposite. He surrounded himself with misfits, malcontents and knuckleheads. When you read the gospels, the disciples come off more as the three stooges than a story of the foundational leaders of a worldwide movement. So when Paul says "God chose the foolish and the weak, and the lowly, and the things that are not" we should perk up and have hope. "That’s me!"

I have a friend who took his church group to a big summer conference.

As a church, they teamed up with another local church and one of the kids from their youth group desperately needed a win in life. He had been going through some major issues, and my friend’s guess was that outside of the youth group kids he didn’t have a lot of friends. It would very safe to assume that in most settings he was a social outcast.

Just as an aside – that is who we are to be. A place that loves outcasts. I remember around six years ago, we had some of the very “popular” kids coming to our Wednesday kids program. We also had a “totally unpopular” kid from a very poor family coming. The “popular” kids started picking on the “unpopular” kid. I pulled the leader of the bullies aside and told him that the church needs to be a place where everyone feels welcome and loved. If there is one place in the world where someone should feel accepted, this is it. The “popular” kid left that night and never came back. And that’s okay. The church needs to be a place for the outcasts and the unpopular. And if the “popular” people aren’t okay with mingling with the less fortunate, then church should make them feel very uncomfortable.

On Tuesday night the conference hosted a talent show. There were some incredible acts. Between Taylor Swift-esque talent, humor, and poems, the talent of those kids was incredible. Then there was the boy. He signed up to be a part of the talent show and as My friend says, “If I’m honest, I thought, "Dude…don’t do that to yourself. All the eyes are on you, you shouldn’t set yourself up for failure."

This boy’s talent was the Rubik’s cube. He was a master; no one questioned that. The fact that he could complete the thing was impressive enough, but he could do it with ease. For the talent show, he wanted to do it blind folded.

My friend asked him, "How will you know how the colors line up?"

He said, “I just memorize the pattern."

My friend didn’t see how he could succeed.

He was the second act. The host messed up the Rubik’s cube, and the boy sat off stage studying it, tapping it, and staring at it.

It was his turn. He put the bag over his head, and then put his hands behind his back.

"No way!" people shouted.

It would have easily been the most impressive act of the night.

The audience watched in silence as his hands tapped and twisted.  The video camera zoomed in on his hands as he worked on it.

Time counted down, and he failed. The host even gave him extra time, yet he still failed. The group tried to comfort him with their applause, but you could see the defeat in his body language.

After the talent contest was over, My friend and him walked back to the dorm together. My friend asked him, "How are you doing?"

He said, "Not good. I feel like that was my one chance and I failed."

It was one of those moments in a kid’s life that could have been a huge confidence boost to a kid who needed it. Yet he failed.

But that’s not how the story ends. Just like the Guardians didn’t fail because of their mistakes, nor does our story end with our sins.

Now fast forward to the last night of the conference. The director was on stage at the beginning of the night and said, “I feel like we need to set something right tonight. I feel like we were close to seeing something amazing and just missed it. Is the Rubik’s cube kid here?”

He was.

“Do you have the Rubik’s cube with you?”

He did.

“Of course you do. Come on up here. We want to give you a second chance.”

The director interviewed the boy and asked him what he needed to make it happen. The boy said, "Compete silence." The director and the audience obliged. But it got really awkward. The director asked the boy if he was close; he wasn’t. It got even more awkward. So the director transitioned to offering, and the boy just sat there studying the Rubik’s cube. After offering, the director asked the boy if he needed more time. He did, so the boy went next to the drums, center stage and sat cross-legged. He tapped; he studied; he tried to memorize the Rubik’s cube. Meanwhile the show must go on, and the director interviewed the main speaker for the night while the boy sat cross-legged next to the drums behind them. Tapping. Studying.

The moment of truth arrived. The boy stood, turned around, put the blind fold over his head, and placed his hands behind his back. The video camera zoomed in on his hands holding the Rubik’s cube. On the big screen for everyone to see.

You could have heard a pin drop as they watched. 900 people completely silent. Everyone pulling for this kid. And he nailed it! In forty seconds, the boy completed the Rubik’s cube blind folded and behind his back. The audience erupted. Standing ovation. Clapping. Cheering. Whistling. High fives. His success was celebrated. He got high fives on his way back to his seat. He was given a second chance, and was redeemed.

That’s what the church is supposed to be as we work with Christ to redeem those who desperately need second chances in life. We help others out when they are down. When the world rejects you – when you feel like a misfit, if you shut out the world and listen to the Spirit in you, you will hear it say, "You are mine. I choose you. I believe in you." That's love. That's acceptance. No matter what we've done; no matter how the rest of the world regards us; we are still God's treasured children.

Though we may feel like we are the least and though the world treats us like the last, we are called to join God's mission of saving the world. We often feel like that kid walking back to the dorm – defeated and a failure. But when you join his team – the church – we carry each other through life’s hard times.

God entrusts us with the task of finishing the mission that Jesus started. God believes in us! God believes in you! God accepts and empowers you! But he doesn’t expect you to do it alone.

Paul wrote:

He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. Ephesians 1:4 (ESV)

Take a second and really let that sink in. In a world of celebrities, impossible beauty standards, and constant comparison, where we are always feeling like the last kid picked for the team, God looks right at us and says—"You. I want you on my team. We can win if you play with my team."

Since all that is true—that God accepts and empowers us, then doesn't it follow that the church should be a place of acceptance and empowering of those same outcasts? Just as God says, "I love and accept you," that is what the church is supposed to be like. A place where people come and find other misfits saying, "You are welcome here. You are loved. You’re part of the team." When you fall, we will help you up. Because guess what—the church is full of misfits, outcasts, and unloved people that the world has turned their backs on.

Because of that, Church is always going to be messy. And doing church right is hard. As morals and families break down in society around us, the dysfunction in people’s lives grows worse. When we enter the church, we bring that with us. Ministering to people will be hard, messy, frustrating. So be constantly kind and gracious to each other. Always help one another out rather than tear people down. We will have to turn the other cheek, love our enemies, endure hardship, insult and betrayal, and, most importantly, continue to make church about Christ and others, not about ourselves.

And so we need to realize that people are not sinners to be converted, projects to be preached at, or demographics to be reprogrammed. We should never generalize, categorize, dismiss, or underestimate people who walk through our doors. Every person is a story, rich with history, experiences, creative potential, strengths and weaknesses, clarity and blindness. That was the mindset that the early church embraced; that changed so many lives.

The reason that the early church was so powerful was because they understood their role as God’s Emergency Room, not as some country club. The church was and is God’s refuge for messed up, sin-burdened people who are in the process of transformation. It is more than a cliché that a church is a hospital for sinners; it needs to be our reality. Jesus invades the lives of messed up folks and begins to heal and redeem them.

Since everyone who walks through those doors is in that process, that means that we bring with us the baggage of the past. The church becomes a baggage collection center. If you feel that you have it all together, then praise the Lord. Now get back in there and help those that don't. Now is not the time to sit aloof looking down on anyone. Doctors and nurses who aren't ill in the emergency room are there to help. We don't need to be like the Pharisee who looks around and prays, "God I thank you that I'm not like the tax collector. That I'm not some drunk, some addict, some messed up person." If you want to boast about your place in life, boast in what the Lord has done in you. And work to make that a reality in someone else's life. See yourself in their situation and show them a light out of the darkness instead of a cold shoulder. Start helping others out.

When a parent takes a crying child who has just broken something valuable into their arms with a loving embrace, they aren't saying that their child’s actions are justified. Their love isn’t condoning the behavior. They are saying that they love the child, despite their mistakes. Yes, there are consequences—there always are. But there is also love, and grace, and restoration.

Let me stop here and offer an apology. An apology to all who have suffered disdain, exclusion, ostracism, hurt, cruelty, a cold shoulder, or unfair judgment at the hands of the church. To those who have not felt that love and grace from the church. To those who resent the church and what it seems to stand for in America in 2017, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that the church has not been the church. Has not been the beautiful bride of Christ who shows love, grace, correction, instruction, redemption and restoration. Please forgive us. Please don't give up on the church or us or God. And for those here who are part of the church with me, let’s work to make it what it was intended to be.

Don't give up because just as our personal sins and failures are not the end of our story, the church's story does not end with failure and hypocrisy. It ends with a wedding. Revelation pictures the church as a bride who is made beautiful, wearing white. Then the church partakes in a giant wedding feast where all the faithful share in the greatest party you can imagine. It's the victory party for the greatest underdog story of all time. A group of misfits, losers, outcasts, and not good enoughs are the winners. But before that happens, the mission of the church has not changed. We are still here to save the world. To add more players to our rag tag group of believers. To change the world. To aid in the saving effort to restore people to God.

In the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, there is a character named "Groot." Basically, he's a tree. He seems pretty dumb as all he ever says is, "I am Groot.” Except for one time at the end. But don't underestimate him, because he might teach us a valuable lesson about what it means to be part of God's church:

We are Groot. As the ship is going down, Groot wraps all the Guardians in his branches in order to save them. And when the raccoon asks why, he simply replies, "We are Groot." I think it was his way of saying, "We are a team. You are worth sacrificing for."

It reminds me of the verse in Galatians:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.  But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.  For each will have to bear his own load. Galatians 6:1-5 (ESV)

As a church, this is something we would love to plan or program, and we could probably do that. But I have felt for a while that programming is done in a church to make people who don’t live out the gospel feel comfortable about not living it out. Instead, we just have to live this bearing each other’s burdens out when burdens are revealed. And we can do this when we recognize that we are one – that we are groot.

And as I think about the church, we are groot in a way. Not always pretty to look at. Not always the brightest bulb. That’s the norm with outcasts. Not always what the world would consider desirable. We are a lot like the Guardians who saved the galaxy. We need to help each other when we are down to make a difference. But when we act like the church—when we put aside our holier than thou attitudes, pettiness, pride, and whatever else puffs us up and tears others down, something amazing happens—we have the power and strength to save this world. The Guardians had a mission to save the galaxy, and they came together as a bunch of misfits needing to help each other out to accomplish it. Through their weaknesses, failures, even through their dislike of one another. The mission was more important than their personal endeavors. And our mission is to be God's kingdom here on earth--all of us, together, a bunch of misfits and outcasts that God has brought together, accepted, redeemed and restored.

So If you are feeling like one of the not good enoughs—not good enough for your family, your friends, or the church,  don’t leave without hearing this—God loves you and wants on his team. There is no need to do silly things to fit in because God has already chosen you and has a spot for you on his team. And for those of us who call ourselves members of the church, who have already experienced this grace of being chosen and accepted, may we never forget the depths from which we came. May it change how we view one another and this world. May we lift each other up in our times of crisis. And may we never forget that God's church is a place where people can find healing, acceptance, and love.  Let that be us.

A Look At Fellowship. What Is Koinonia?

What is "fellowship?"

Some times translations do not adequately get the point across of the word they are translating. "Fellowship" is not one of those cases. It is a great translation of the Greek word “koinonia." The word is just the combination of two words put together that in their essence really do grasp the meaning of the original word. Unfortunately, the word "fellowship" has become so common that it no longer strikes us as being the combination of these two separate words. With "fellowship," we have the word “fellow” and the word “ship" melded together. "Fellow" is not a commonly used word today unless you are from the Deep South or involved in a university. A fellow at a university is someone who is considered an equal in a group of peers. When you become a fellow, you become part of a group who make decisions together. There is no superior in a fellowship.

When you combine fellows and put them together on a ship, you have a group of equals heading in the same direction. People on a ship have to work together to get where they are going. This is not your typical ship though. It is not a ship with a hierarchical structure; it is a ship of equals. The key to being a fellowship is that we are going somewhere together knowing that our success on that journey depends on us working together. If the ship sinks, all of the fellows on the ship sink. If the ship gets to the destination in record time, everyone gets to the destination in record time. We rejoice together. We weep together. We struggle together. We celebrate together. Life, in a fellowship, is shared.

Koinonia, the word translated fellowship, was used in Greek times as a union between people. It was most often used to describe the relationship of people who were in business with one another, but it was also used to describe the bond between two people in marriage. This means that fellowship with one another is not something to be taken lightly. It is not something that can be lived out with just a simple handshake. It is not something that we can have with one another just because we share doctrinal concepts. It is not attained through just gathering together at a specific building at a specific time. It is something that has to go much deeper than that. Koinonia, as shown in its traditional use describing business partners and marriage partners, shows a bond between people which is focused on the idea that the success of one is linked with the success of the other.

Imagine that I opened up a business with you and another. Let's say in our case it is a restaurant. Our friend would be the cook. I would run the floor, and you would do the bookwork and ordering. Say we shared ownership in the business, each of us owning a third, making us financial partners. Your financial success as the bookkeeper would be dependent upon my success in serving the customers and training others to do a great job serving the customers. My success would be dependent upon our friend, the cook, making great meals and training others to make those same savory meals. We would be in the business together and our success or failure would depend upon each one of us doing our jobs well. If one of us fails, our business fails. If each one of us succeeds, our business succeeds. That, in a nutshell, is what koinonia or fellowship is – it is a link between people in which they share mutual dreams, actions, and respect. The success of each person is intimately linked with the each others' success.

Koinonia is a family relationship of sorts. Not a fragmented and fighting family like many that we see around us, but a healthy family. The Bible describes our relationship with other believers as a family in various places. Peter describes us as the “family of believers” (1 Peter 2:17). Paul describes us as the “family of faith” (Galatians 6:10).

Maybe you know an amazing family. What is experienced in that well-built family is a great example of what it is to be a family. People look at good families and want to be like them. They see the fun the family has together at family gatherings and want to join in. That is fellowship. The main difference between the fellowship of biological families compared to the fellowship we are supposed to have as the church is that a biological family's fellowship is based upon a shared bloodline and is typically exclusive to people who are either born into or married into the family. (I am not saying there is something wrong with a healthy biological family like that. That's sort of family fellowship is one that I wish to emulate with mine.)

The fellowship in a church should be just as great or even greater than any biological fellowship. But is it? Are we the type of people who share our lives together in a way that others long to be part of our community? Do we know each other intimately like a family? The main difference between the fellowship Christians should experience and the fellowship of a healthy biological family is that our fellowship is not exclusive to bloodlines; it is inclusive to anyone who is seeking God. Our family should be growing as God continues to draw fellow sojourners in Jesus together to bring about His will here on earth.

Our fellowship should be a fellowship that other churches would long to emulate and people would want to join in on, but that is not our goal. Our goal should be to remain faithful to what God has called us to and to be the group of people He intends for us to be. Being a follower of Jesus is not just adhering to a set of doctrinal statements, attending a worship gathering, or some other legalistic ritual that we have morphed it into being; it is living our lives together in such a way that we exhibit the life together that Jesus intended for us to live. This life lived in fellowship would give credence to the authority of Scripture and the doctrines we share. This life would make God known in our world today. Let us strive to be the people Jesus died for us to be. Let us live in His resurrected, eternal life today, together.
** 

Let love be genuine. 
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.  
Love one another with brotherly affection. 
Outdo one another in showing honor.  
Do not be slothful in zeal, 
be fervent in spirit, 
serve the Lord.  
Rejoice in hope, 
be patient in tribulation, 
be constant in prayer.  
Contribute to the needs of the saints 
and seek to show hospitality.  
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  
Rejoice with those who rejoice, 
weep with those who weep.  
Live in harmony with one another. 
Do not be haughty, 
but associate with the lowly. 
Never be wise in your own sight.  
Repay no one evil for evil, 
but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”  To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21 (ESV)

Judge Not or Judge Rightly

Some weeks I’m convicted to write articles that are so countercultural that they are scary, at least for me, to share. I fear the condemnation of others. And today is one of those days. I guarantee that this one will rub us wrong because we have been indoctrinated from birth by our society to think what I am sharing is wrong. But it’s our responsibility as Christians to allow Scripture to shape us, especially when it goes against our culture. You are faced with a choice today, like you are faced with every day. Will you follow the tough teachings of Scripture or the billowing winds of society?

In America, we exalt the ideals of individualism - “you can’t tell me what to do” - and self-expression - "just be yourself." We even hear, to corroborate these American ideals, a teaching of Jesus. 

Everyone throws it around. You would think they all follow Jesus by how much we hear “judge not lest you be judged.” Not that most know the context of the verse they utter because, in its context, it is actually teaching us how to judge. In contrast to the meaning of this statement when taken out of context, Jesus also taught, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” 

So in this article, we will take a worldwind tour through the issue of judgment. What was Jesus teaching us? If we are to judge, then who are we to judge? And what does this look like in practice? 

But before we begin, I want to define the word “judge.” The word translated “judge” from the Greek just means to make a decision on whether something is good or bad, right or wrong. It obviously has a judicial use, but it also can be used in private contexts. It means to separate the good from the bad. The grain from the chaff. Or, a modern-day equivalent, picking the all stars out from their regular teams. Or stealing the rye chips out of the gardettos - something I like to do. Or a coach critiquing a kid on what they are doing wrong so that they can do it better. 

When we hear "judge" used in a negative light, it means something else entirely. In an a message, Judging Others? Stop It!, a religious leader states, “When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!”

Now, I am against all the negative things that the writer was against – hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm. But those are not elements of judging in the Biblical sense. They’re sin. Flat out sin. 

Jesus actually teaches us to judge, and he wouldn’t teach us to sin.

I did one work, and you all marvel at it. Moses gave you circumcision (not that it is from Moses, but from the fathers), and you circumcise a man on the Sabbath. If on the Sabbath a man receives circumcision, so that the law of Moses may not be broken, are you angry with me because on the Sabbath I made a man’s whole body well? Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment. John 7:21-24 (ESV).

Judge with right judgment. In contrast to our culture's doctrines of tolerance and permissiveness, Jesus actually tells us to righteously judge things. We’re called to lift a brother or sister out of sin when we see them sinking in it. And we can’t do that without judging whether the behavior in our brother or sister is right or wrong. 

The other side of the coin is that we are also not supposed to get upset over the actions in others that do not matter. That is the balance to keep us in control from becoming Oscar the Grouch. In the context of this passage from John, Jesus healed on the Sabbath and people became upset, upset that He would make a man well because He did it on the wrong day. For a modern day example, let’s talk about church. Church is important, and I don’t think people should miss gathering together. But if you missed the gathering to help someone, I shouldn’t be upset. Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

So how do we judge rightly? Let me give you a practical example without giving too many details. A while back I approached someone who was participating in behavior that was destructive to them and to the local church community I am part of. This wasn’t to the level of church discipline. It was just me suggesting to them that the behavior that they were participating in would not lead to the best life for them. Their behavior was causing lots of problems in their life and in our church. 

And it didn’t go so well. Instead of changing their behavior, they attacked me and left the church. That’s pretty typical in modern-day America. Instead of changing into who God wants us to be, we just find a place that won’t encourage us to change.

The response I experienced is something we always need to be prepared for in confronting someone about something. But we must ask ourselves if we love the other person enough that we are willing to risk our relationship with them to improve their life. Because not helping someone through a problem that is destroying their life – something that people are oddly oblivious to at times – not helping them is not loving them. What is loving them is to actually talk to them gently and in a loving way about it. Experience shows that some times it helps and other times we are attacked or completely ignored.

So I want to ask what makes it work sometimes and not at others.

First, humility is necessary. In both people. In confronting someone, we could very well be wrong. So we always approach the person we perceive to be struggling with a sin with love and gentleness, but we must not ignore the issue if we notice that it is destroying God's intention for the situation. 

Second, a desire for improvement is necessary. If someone doesn’t want to be better, then nothing we say or do will matter. A "perfect" person needs no help. 

Third, it is important to confront others within the context of an already existing relationship. People will often start pulling away from relationships when there is something majorly sinful going on in their life. Sadly, people disconnect when they need the relationship most. But we need to work on having that relationship with people before we approach a tough subject with them.

When you do confront someone, just point out the issue that you think needs worked on. It’s not time to bring out a shopping list of problems. Just point out the specific problem, talk about solutions, and move on. Be quick to forgive. And don’t ever hold a grudge. 

People who join together in a local church body agree to be held accountable by other spiritual family members and are willing to hold them accountable if needed, all for the sake of encouragement and spiritual maturity. This accountability is important to being a Christian, but it’s difficult because our world teaches us to avoid accountability. To make this happen, we must realize that there is a difference between being judgmental and acknowledging sin in others with the intention to encourage them to change.

One guy wrote on a Youtube video regarding judging others a common sentiment: “I've got way too many planks in my own eye to worry about anyone else's sin.” You probably also know the plank in the eye phrase. It comes from the most quoted section on judging in Scripture.

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV).

I had a friend write me a few months back. He had a problem with going to strip clubs and was looking for help in stopping. Now, am I supposed to be non-judgmental and say, “Hey, that’s fine. Who am I to say that you shouldn’t go to strip clubs? Who am I to say that going is bad for you? And who are you, my friend, to say that you need to stop doing it? Doesn’t your view denigrate everyone else that goes to strip clubs? Go to strip clubs if you think that is good for you.” Or should I say, “Hey, here are some tips to get over that sin in your life.” And then proceed, out of love, to give him suggestions of things in his life that he needs to change to get at the core of the issue. Because the issue is not strip clubs. That's just the surface issue. The real issue is the distance between him and Jesus.

Using the argument made on Youtube, I shouldn’t tell him not to go because I have different sins in my life. Who am I to help another remove the speck from their eye? But that is not what Jesus was talking about. If I have a problem going to strip clubs, then I shouldn’t be the one trying to help my friend out. Who would I be to talk about the peril of strip clubs if I had the same struggle? But that’s not my struggle. Not that I don’t have other problems in my life. But in this case, I should help my friend out. We don’t have to be perfect to practice righteous judgment. If that were the case, we wouldn’t ever be qualified to help one another out because each one of us is a sinner in need of a savior. What we have to be is humble and loving. And if we have a problem with something, then we shouldn’t start pointing that out in others.

For everyone who loudly proclaims, “Don’t judge me.” There are others who through the righteous judgment of others, changed their lives from what it shouldn’t be to more of what it should be. This has been true in me many times. Others have seen areas in my life that needed to change. They followed that observation up by trying to convince me that I needed the changes they perceived I needed. They did this through example, and they did it through conversation. We need to likewise. I would be willing to bet that everyone reading this has grown as a result of the loving and righteous judgment of someone else. Being rightly judged and encouraged is a great thing.

Now, I hope this article will encourage us to help one another out, but I don’t want it to unleash an unhealthy firestorm of criticalness toward one another. 

We must realize that we can’t do this life alone. We need one another. And what I am talking about usually works best through existing relationships.

But I want to clarify one thing. We don’t ever judge those outside of the church. Let me reiterate that because it is an essential concept. We don’t ever judge those outside of the church.

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you. 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (ESV)

We see a few things in this passage. One, we don’t expect the world to not be the world. Two, we are to purge the evil person from among us. So the world will be the world, but the church is supposed to be a shining example of heaven here on earth, the kingdom of God among us.

This brings up the heavy topic of church discipline. When, if ever, would a situation of sin reach a point where an individual would have to be removed from the local church? Paul wrote that we are to “purge the evil person.” In the case of the Corinthian church, they had a situation where a son was sleeping with his step-mother and everyone, including Paul in another city, knew about it. This public sin was hurting the mission of Jesus.

We need to be full of grace toward one another, but there reaches a point when what someone is regularly participating in is so detrimental to the mission of the church that it needs to be dealt with in a disciplinary way. I hope that is something that is few and far between. People, like me, don’t become leaders in the church because we want authority over people and want to discipline them. We become leaders because we want to mobilize people to love God and love their community. It’s the mission of the church to be disciples and to help others be disciples. 

Discipline, as Paul is describing here, happens only when the sin – because we are all sinners – is so drastic that it is destroying the church. This is the point at which a particular sin is so detrimental to the church that it is crippling other people's ability to love God and love the community they are called to love.

So if you struggle with porn and the church hears about it, they shouldn't threaten to kick you out of the church. Instead they should help you. But if you start up a swingers club, the church should ask you to leave until you’re willing to turn back to God. If you struggle with gossip, the church shouldn't kick you out, but they should help hold you accountable. But if you get on Facebook every day, making your sin of gossip public and destroy the reputation of yourself and the church you attend, the church should deal with it. If you struggle with alcoholism, the church shouldn't threaten you with expulsion. Instead, the church should help you overcome your addiction. But if you get a reputation as the town drunk, that is something the church will have to deal with.

A good test to use is to ask if the particular behavior is extremely detrimental to the mission of the church? Remember, the church is just our relationships with one another under Jesus.

Now, we must recognize that this concept of church discipline does not apply to visitors or people outside of the church. It only applies to people in the church family.

I understand that this teaching of discipline goes against some of our society’s deeply held convictions, but we exist to be disciples and help others be disciples. And if the behavior of someone in a church reaches a level that it begins to destroy the mission of the church, it is something the church will have to deal with. 

If anyone hears my words and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. John 12:47 (ESV)

Let me reiterate. We are to never judge those outside the church. Jesus did not come to judge the world, but to save it. The same should be true with us. We are not here to judge the world, but to be involved in saving it. Christians have a bad reputation because we get it all backward. Unfortunately, the church has been bumbling and fumbling it’s way to discerning how we are to behave in a democracy. The Bible doesn’t give clear instructions on how being a Christian in a democracy works. We have principles to apply, but the way it looks has been something we have been wrestling with since the founding of this nation. Unfortunately, on our way from being a persecuted group at the founding of the church to being a group that has some legislative power in this day and age, we have gained a reputation for judging those outside of the church. We have become known as haters and ridiculers of those outside of the church. 

Instead, we should be known as lovers of the people in the world.

So we have to clean up our own act as the church. We have to be concerned with one another in the body. That is one of the reasons we have local church families and aren't Lone Ranger Christian. Through a local body, we know who wants to be held accountable. When you’re not in the family, the family should not hold you accountable. That’s not the church's job. But being part of the family lets us know who wants to be held accountable by one another. 

There is a difference between judging whether someone is sinning combined with encouraging/rebuking/helping them strive to be who God has destined them to be, especially when you are in a church family together, contrasted with judging one’s eternal salvation. The latter we are to never do. The former is a part of what church is all about. Whether it is in helping people in their first step in the Lord, the next step in their lifelong journey, or steering them back toward God when they have gone wayward, we each need others to help us grow in the Lord.

The Bible teaches that every person has worth as a creation of God, but each have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Everyone is a sinner, and Jesus established the church to provide a place for us to help one another grow. We are all about being different tomorrow from who we are today. We are not where God wants us to be – nobody reading this is, yet we are on a journey to become more and more of who we were made to be. Together and as individuals. Despite all of its flaws, I still love the church. We are far, far from perfect, but it is beautiful when we are heading in the right direction and being used by God to transform lives.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. Galatians 6:1-5 (ESV)

Recently a young couple had moved into a rural neighborhood. Living next door to this new couple was Bill and Mary. One morning while eating breakfast, Mary looked out the window and saw her new neighbor hanging her wash. “That laundry isn’t very clean!” Mary told bill. “Our young neighbor doesn’t know how to get her clothes clean!” Bill read the paper and didn’t say a word. Every time the new neighbor hung the laundry out to dry, Mary would make the same comments. Bill continued to say nothing.

A few weeks later, Mary was surprised to look out her window and see a nice, fresh and clean row of wash hung out to dry. In surprise, she said to her husband, “Look Bill, she finally knows how to clean her laundry.” “I wonder what she learned?” Mary asked. Bill replied, “Honey, I might have an answer for you.” “Really?” Mary Said. “Yes, I do.” Bill said. “I got up early this morning and washed our windows. I guess we finally learned to wash the windows.” (From a video at www.openthemeeting.com)

Jackpot! Now that is the story our culture wants us to believe. If someone else has a problem, then that problem is really just our problem because we're judgmental. It's definitely not the other person's problem. 

I concede that frequently the problem is our problem. We can’t just run around trying to correct everyone. Jesus instructed us to judge rightly. We need to make sure that we are seeing the whole issue before coming to a judgment. All sides of the issue. We have to make sure that the problem isn’t just us, our wrong attitude or our incomplete perspective.

But at other times, people actually have problems, and we are called to help them. People might not know how to do their laundry. What would it benefit them if we didn’t go over there and show them how to do it? We could do this in a creative and loving way. We could invite them to do laundry with us. But the goal would be helping and not just criticizing them from the comfort of our dining room table.

People might not know right from wrong. They might not have been taught it since birth. We all have a somewhat skewed upbringing. Our society instructs us from birth that we are to let people be who they are, but some times people need to be loved out of being who they are. They need someone to show that they can be better than who they are, that they are not limited to being who they presently are. Nobody is confined to just be who they are. Each one of us needs to work toward being who God planned for us to be. Most people have been taught by their parents how to do their laundry, but for those who haven't, they do need someone to teach them.

So come as you are church. Wear the clothes you’re comfortable wearing. Be your own unique self. The church should be a safe place free from hate, gossip, ridicule, and grudges. Those sins have no place in the church. But if you’re a member of a church family and you’re hurting others, expect someone to confront you. If you need help, anticipate someone helping you. We need to judge and help one another on the things that matter. That's love. Tough love, but the kind of love that transforms us from our sinful nature into more of that person that God created us to be. Loving one another is what we’re called to do. And one way we do that is through practicing righteous judgment.

If you're part of a church, you have joined together in a family to be held accountable by other family members. And you have committed to have others hold you accountable if needed, all for the sake of encouragement and spiritual maturity. Let us learn to love, even when it is difficult, so that the mission of Jesus – for us to be disciples and help others be disciples – is realized in our midst.