It's For The Better

You have probably heard the phrase, “It’s for the better.” We hear that after something tragic or terrible happens, after a broken relationship, or a failed attempt. The person trying to comfort you proclaims, “It’s for the better.” And then everything is better, right?

What if everything isn’t always for the better? What if that isn’t the way God works?

Take Saul for instance. God appointed Saul as the first king of the Israelites. Yet Saul disobeyed God. His greediness got in the way convincing him to not follow God’s directions to destroy everything that the Amalekite’s had. His disobedience led to God becoming angry and Saul’s removal as king. His unfaithfulness did not bring about the better.

Or Achan. After God miraculously delivered Jericho into the hands of the Israelites, the people were not supposed to keep any of the items. But the treasure was far too tempting for Achan. He secretly stashed away gold and silver. This made God so angry that he punished all the people  eventually leading to Achan’s demise. It surely was not for the better.

It’s never better to step out of God’s will. Never. Ever. It’s never better to cheat on your spouse. It’s never better to get pregnant as a teen outside of marriage. It’s never better to steal from a store, an employer, or a neighbor. It’s never better to consume too much of the wrong things and destroy your body. It’s never better to call people names and destroy relationships. It’s never better to take vengeance into your own hands. It’s never better to be lazy and not work. There are many things in life that are never better. The list could go on and on. We bring about a broken and failed reality when we give in to our own selfish desires. The end result is that we see a fallen world rather than the hand of God transforming our world into the better God has destined it to be.

How I long for the better.

What about the better that you would have experience if you hadn’t of slept around outside of marriage? Or that better that God has planned for you but your diet and disease prevents it from happening. Or that better he had in store for you but you failed to wake up and attend class. Or that better if you would have been loving toward someone rather than hostile. Or that better. Or the other better. Or that other better. It’s hard to live in the better because the impact of sin in this world is far-reaching.

It’s not always for the better. That’s what sin does. It destroys the better.

But here is the reassuring truth. When we are faithful, then we will find ourselves in the better. Though it doesn’t work with as well with just one being faithful. We all should be faithful. Our churches, our families, our workplaces, our communities, and our nation won’t reach the better that God has in store for us if only one or two of us are faithful. We all must be faithful.

This is not to belittle grace, forgiveness, and hope. When things fall apart and crumble, the Great Potter can build a new better. This actually brings those concepts into our fallen world. Nobody needs grace, forgiveness, and hope if they are always perfect. We need them when we are fallen, broken, and hurting. When we face hopelessness and despair. Grace, forgiveness, and hope are there in our darkest hours. Always.

So don’t be discouraged when things are in shambles. God has a new better. But be aware that the new better can be destroyed just like the old better was. By sin. By not doing the things God wants us to do and by doing the things that God knows we shouldn’t do. Sin destroys. God builds the better. God guides us toward the better. Remain faithful. Live in the better.

“For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness” (Psalms 84:10 ESV).

A Grace That Heals

In the aftermath of apartheid's collapse in South Africa in 1994, the new government under Nelson Mandela established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission whose task it was to investigate specific acts of brutality committed in the name of apartheid and to seek some measure of resolution that would enable the country to move forward.

At one meeting early in their work, the commission gathered to reach a verdict on a particularly painful case involving an elderly South African woman. At the hearing, a group of white police officers, led by a Mr. Van de Broek, admitted their personal responsibility in the death of her 18-year-old son. They acknowledged shooting the young man at point-blank range, setting his body on fire, and then partying around the fire until the body had been reduced to little more than ashes. Eight years later, van de Broek and his fellow officers had again intersected with the woman's life, this time to take her husband into captivity. And then, some time later, van de Broek had come knocking at her door once more. Rousing her from bed in the dead of night, he brought the woman to an isolated setting by a river where her husband lay tied to a pile of wood. As she watched, he and the officers doused the man with gasoline and then ignited a fire. The last words her husband spoke to her, in the midst of the blazing pyre, were "Forgive them."

Now at long last the time had come for justice to be served. Those involved had confessed their guilt, and the Commission turned to the woman for a final statement regarding her desire for an appropriate punishment.

"I want three things," the woman said calmly. "I want Mr. van de Broek to take me to the place where they burned my husband's body. I would like to gather up the dust and give him a decent burial."

"Second, Mr. van de Broek took all my family away from me and I still have a lot of love to give. Twice a month, I would like for him to come to the ghetto and spend a day with me so I can be a mother to him."

"Third, I would like Mr. van de Broek to know that he is forgiven by God, and that I forgive him, too. And, I would like someone to come and lead me by the hand to where Mr. van de Broek is so that I can embrace him and he can know my forgiveness is real."

As the elderly woman made her way across the silent courtroom, van de Broek reportedly fainted, overcome by emotion. And then the silence was broken when someone began singing "Amazing Grace." Others soon picked up the words of the familiar hymn, so that finally the entire audience in the courtroom was joined in song.

From John Roth's Choosing Against War: A Christian View, 62-63. He claims to have "drawn extensively from the account of the story by Stanley Green, "When Reconciled, We are Free," Mennonite Weekly Review, Sept. 7, 2000, 4.

Jesus, Forgiveness, and Suicide

The other day, while counseling students at the school after the tragic and unfortunate suicide of Dalton Skeens, I was asked whether a person could go to heaven who committed suicide.  This is a much more exhaustive answer to that question.

The Bible does not address the subject of suicide directly.  

First, I will start by debunking a false idea that floats around.  Sometimes suicide gets labeled as the unforgivable sin (Mark 3:22-30, Matthew 12:22-32).  "Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin" [Mark 3:29 (ESV)].  The context shines light on what this means.  After Jesus healed a demon-possessed man, the Scribes and the Pharisees who were out to get him claimed that Jesus was in league with Satan.  Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is to claim that an act that you know is from God is from Satan.  The unforgivable sin has nothing to do with suicide.  

  

I like what the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches on suicide.

Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.

Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.

If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.
Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance (2280-2283a).

In the end, the only thing that prevents people from going to heaven is not knowing Jesus.  It seems kind of strange, but it's like going to an invitation-only party without the invitation.  Hopefully, the guy that invited us will be at the door, but we don't know that he will be.  We have all been invited, but we need to bring the invitation.  

But it's more significant than that.  Jesus claimed to be "the way, and the truth, and the life."  He followed that up by saying, "No one comes to the Father except through me" [John 14:6-7 (ESV)].  It is through him that we receive forgiveness of our sins.  At the very core of the message of Jesus is that we are all sinners.  This sin separates us from the presence of God because God is holy and only allows the purified into his presence.  God became flesh in the form of Jesus to show us how to live and offer the perfect sacrifice for our sins that when accepted, covers our filthiness in holiness.  We accept that forgiveness through giving our life over to him.  He is the way, the truth, and the life.  He is worth living for.

Jesus taught, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep [John 10:7-11 (ESV)]. 

The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but Jesus came so that we might live an abundant life.  Committing suicide is an act of theft, murder, and destruction.  However, that does not mean that committing suicide is unforgivable.  It just puts us face-to-face with a grace that is bigger than we can comprehend.  The grace of God expressed through Jesus is bigger than the greatest sins that we can think of.  

We just need to realize that no setback is to big too overcome.  We need to follow Jesus and live in the hope and the knowledge that life goes on no matter what the circumstances.  Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" [Romans 8:1 (ESV)].  What kind of grace would grace be if we were condemned to hell when we died while committing a sin?  The grace we receive from God covers all past, present, and future sins.  One might feel that this gives us a license to sin, but exactly the opposite happens when you experience this grace.  It isn't a license to sin; it's a freedom to live. 

God's grace is big enough for suicide, but God's plan for your life is so much greater than the permanent setbacks that emotionally engulf you.  There is always another change that can be made and another road to go down.  Don't give up.  We serve a God of hope. 

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,even as we hope in you.

                       Psalms 33:22 (ESV)

A Message for the Depressed and Hurting

I received a message from a friend who is depressed about his life, where he is, and how he feels.  This is what I wrote in response.  Maybe it will help someone else feeling the same way.

I'm reminded of Nine Inch Nail's Hurt, preferably the Johnny Cash version.

That song was originally released on Nine Inch Nail's Downward Spiral.  In an interview, Trent Reznor noted that he wrote the album to be one whole message.  In it, he rejects God, he lives for himself, but by the end, he wishes he could throw it all away and start over.  You seem like you are in a downward spiral of sorts, and at the end of that spiral is Hurt.  A place where you wish you could start again and throw everything away.  That place is always now.  We constantly have to throw away the hurt others have inflicted on us, the hurt we have self-inflicted, and the dreams we have missed fulfilling.  That's what forgiveness is.

The problem is that people don't think that it is possible to start over, but with God it is possible.  Jesus offers grace, a grace that helps us overcome the failure we feel like we are and sometimes have been.  A grace that will give us the strength to continue on despite continuing to be a failure.  A grace that helps us become more than we can be without it. 

In the end, a life filled with God's spirit, forgiveness and grace will be a life that will end that downward spiral; a life that wills stop the hurt; a life that will reflect the glory of God; the life you were intended to live.  Don't give up.  Be real, be honest, and pursue God with your whole heart.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;  his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" Isaiah 40:28-31 (ESV).